ooo-be-doo

No game to report on this week, as Hearts were dumped out of the Scottish Cup by Dunfermline a few weeks back.
The only thing to talk about this week then is vlad's continuing rant ravaged war with the Scottish sporting media.
Vlad posted another certifiably insane haver on the Hearts official website on Thursday.
This time round i am actually getting a bit worried for his sanity, i mean really i am.

Here is the transcript from the Hearts website :-

Haver

It is futile to attempt to pick some sense out of this wondrous tirade of complexities, red herrings and trawler following seagulls.
References to Mowgli here, from The Jungle Book?
It is confused ofcourse but is Mowgli the Scottish public who Vlad seems to think are childlike in some way! requiring of some teaching. I think i am a bit insulted by this.
I guess it is common for the clinically bonkers to harbour a superiority complex. Some of this reads as if it were the thoughts of Chairman Moa TseTung, to be gratefully consumed on a daily basis by the mass proletariat at the start of each glorious working day. From the wests perspective it did appear as though the old communist block treated it's people as children to be taught and controlled as such. Is this what he thinks of us lowly punters? Are you insulted by this?
Back to Mowgli, King of the Swingers thats what i read out of this, that song from The Jungle Book, here it is here ...




Mowgli here represents the Scottish football watching public ( children ), and the Orangutang here is the Media or perhaps the Old Firm, confusing and corrupting poor Mowgli in order to acheive some self serving agenda. Obvious flaws in all of this - Orangutangs are apes not monkeys for a kick off but hey in the land of the stark raving space cadets we can let that one slide.
Who then is Vlad, is he Baloo? the noble bear ( obvious Russian connections there ) coming to Mowgli's rescue. Or is he the black panther here, who knows. May be that Baloo is Steven Pressley who in this scene is caste under the spell of the mischevious Ape and his devil music, the Jazz.
My head hurts.


I thought of hunting through You Tube for a clip to represent "the woman who gives herself without love" but hey this is a family blog!

On the upside it looks like Tom Pontin's crusade against the deal which will allow Hearts to purchase the necessary land to build the new stand has failed. Obviously we are all delighted about that. This stupid, pathetic, narrow minded, short sighted little man and his crusade for notoriety should be ignored as soon as possible.

In the land of the blind, Larry is King

This week served up another predictable tragi-drama from Romanov's big top circus, opera house and pantomime pantaloons.
This week i am sick of it, can't take much more.
Everything about it is just waring me down.
This culminated in my experience at Tynecastle yesterday - this game was the most annoying & frustrating, badly scripted, amateurishly directed and poorly acted dross i have witnessed all season - it probably wasn't but that's how it felt, i was in a stinking mood by the time the game was over.
I spent a load of the game venting vitriol at variety of victims, my language and general demeanor not for me to be proud off. Why do we do it to ourselves!

Breath in ... and rest.

Vladimir Romanov has once again plunged himself and the club into disarray and ignominy with his paranoid ravings, which appear to this time be full on - libellous. Essentially Vlad has stated in an interview to Russian sports magazine Futbal that the old firm are in some way corrupting Scottish Football, players and referees.
Here is a bit of the translated transcript -

Q. When you took over you declared that Hearts would in a few months be mounting a real challenge to Rangers and Celtic and would be battling for the title. Nobody took you seriously then but you soon returned the club to long forgotten heights. What was the secret of your success?

A. Celtic and Rangers? Even Kaunas are a match for them on the pitch. The thing is they've turned football into a type of show business with their underhand games. They buy off players and referees. When it comes to weaker teams then nobody can help but if two opponents are equally matched, then the referees can have a real influence on the outcome.

Seems pretty conclusive to me, if this is a legitimate translation ( Vlad in an official statement on Hearts web site has back tracked from this) Vlad has accused both Rangers and Celtic of 'buying off' referees.
Given what has gone on in Italy at the end of last season, what it has cost some of the clubs over there. This must be dealt with seriously, will it? i don't think so. Half of me wants one or both of the gruesome twosome to take it as far as they can, drive a legal stake into the heart of Vlad and his death grip on our club. The other half is petrified that the 'camel that breaks the straws back' may well be that long drawn out and acrimonious legal battle. Vlad gives up and walks away.
There are some other statements from the interview that do read like an exit strategy is being sought -


Q. Things have got that bad in Britain?

A. That's not the word for it. I went there with the hope that I'd be able to avoid all the dirty stuff that we've all grown used to here. I thought that there everything was clean, ideal, (that I would be dealing) with gentlemen. But it turned out that there everything is even worse.

Q. Worse than here?

A. Yes, by some way.

Q. In what way is that visible?

A. They have a different mentality. A different culture, or to be more precise, lack of culture. What do I mean by that? Here, for example, I can say to German (Tkachenko, the Russian football magnate who runs the agency that represents players such as Laryea Kingston and who was sitting next to him during the interview): 'Why are you trying to deceive me?' (German Tkachenko interjects: 'And I would feel ashamed'.) A And he would feel ashamed. But if I say that to a British person, they give you an innocent look and say, 'Me? Deceive you? I'll see you in court!' That's the difference.What we would call base behaviour is the norm for them. It's normal for them to betray one's own club and conduct talks with another club behind their back or not to give their team everything on the pitch because someone has seduced them by waving the shirt of another club at them.But fans there deserve something much more. They are not like the tiffosi in Italy. British supporters are well-versed, they understand everything, they live for football. But they are being served up a rotten product, even if it is well packaged.

A couple of thoughts here, Vlad has always had it in for untrustworthy agents, a lot of his actions and over-reactions over his time here has i believe been caused by players and agents not playing the game Vlad's way. It is pretty clear that Vlad also feels the same way about players who also do not play the game exactly as he sees it. Any decent is taken as a betrayal, a personal betrayal to be dealt with, with utmost severity.
Pretty clear that it is Vlad's way or it is the highway.
Vlad came here because he wanted an even playing field where everyone adhered to his view of how football business should be conducted. He can't get that in Russia/Lithuania which is why he came here, now he seems convinced that it is worse here?? Where else can he go, how about South America bet it is nice and clean and tidy over there. I am not so sure that this is an indication of the exit strategy being sought. But i do think the exit may seek him out much quicker than he expects. All i will say about Vlad and his apparent madness is that, behind all of this is a long term goal. That goal being to get a foothold over here for his bank UKIO-BANKAS, and to expand that business. This dwarfs any ripple caused by his ownership of this football club. He owns this club in order to grease the wheels toward that goal. Vlad has and is however making so many mistakes that that goal is looking further away by the hour. Right this moment in time how many people do you think would open an account at the George St branch of UKIO-BANKAS A failed bank venture would surely see him go as cold as ice to Hearts, Edinburgh and Scotland. For an awful lot of people that would be good riddance and bugger the consequences.

One of the most disappointing aspects of all of this is the divisions it is building into the Hearts support. The talk shows and web sites are crammed full of anti Vlad versus pro Vlad battles, everyone is entitled to their opinion obviously but lately it reminds me of that scene in 'Life of Brian' where Brian thinks that he and the rest of The Peoples Popular Front of Judia are about to strike a blow against the oppressive Romans only to discover that they are happier to battle it out with their mortal enemy The Judian Popular Peoples Front.
Seems to me that some people spend their entire lives in perpetual disgust at their clubs chairman and board, like it is their job or something. I just can't be arsed with that.

Where do i stand on all of this?

I hate the term 'Romanov apologist', mostly bandied around by the above malcontents.
I do not apologise for Romanov, he has made a hundred thousand mistakes in the last 2 years. He is most probably President of the United Wards of BonkersVille!
But here is what i believe right now, having sumpt up all the lines which are to to be read between, over the piece -

I believe, the new stand and the building of it remains the acid test of his intentions for our club.
I believe, Hearts will be a better team next season than we are this season.

Is anything else required really, think i have nailed my colours to the mast there. I remain a supporter of the Romanov revolution, with all the baggage that entails. However failure of either of those statements for me will be the tipping point from support to rejection.

It all started so well as well. An absolutely beautiful day in Edinburgh for the visit of St Mirren. We are all no doubt aware of the all too obvious effects ( beneficial? ) of global warming. As i sat awaiting the kick off i was struck with the idea that the day felt like April in every way but the aroma of spring bloom. I was a bit surprised that the Hearts support were in much finer fettle than last week, galvanised once again by the knowledge that we are the most hated and ridiculed team in the history of evil and stupid teams. A snappy rendition of The Monkeys self titled anthem set and lightened the scene.
The first seeds of disgruntlement in my gut was as the team was announced, we were playing Neil McCann in the middle with Laryea Kingston. That pairing against St Mirren just wouldn't cut it for me. They are a nasty team who play the game on the edge of a foul, Larry needed more than just Nelly in there with him especially given they would no doubt play 5 across the middle. Why not Brellier in there protecting Larry and the back 4.

Another rant - St Mirren drive me nuts, i hate playing against them, is it just me? They have honed to a fine art the ability to nudge their mark just a tiny bit just a split second before the aerial challenge, just enough to make the edge but not enough for a foul. They are experts at it, all of them, the whole game yesterday. Drove me to distraction.

Another rant - During this game the referee MacDonald seemed to experiment with a new interpretation of the rules. That rule which states that obstruction is a foul unless you are the defender and you are attempting to shepherd the ball over your own byeline. For the whole game he modified this rule so that it became obstruction is a foul unless you are the defender and you are attempting to shepherd the ball over your own bye line OR you are a Hearts player!
Drove me to distraction.

Another rant - If that little bugger McCann fann*es about with the ball again when he is last man 20 yards out with nobody near him other than the opposing forward bearing down on him, i swear i will walk on the park and hoof the ball up field myself. Anyone who was at the game will know what i mean.
Drove me absolutely mental.

Hearts started the game pretty well, the crowd were happy and expecting, Larry played some good passes over the top out to Driver on the left wing, driver making good progress and getting the crosses in. Best effort in the early stages was a 30 yard raking volley hit perfectly by Velicka, the keeper doing really well to tip over.
The StMirren goal then came against the run of play then? For the most part, however a couple of moments before it came a very similar opening appeared for them. Worryingly a clipped ball onto the penalty spot from deep allowed their forward in on goal with not a centre half in sight. I had been growing in my confidence of the Berra/Zaliukas partnership but that was a shocker. He took it really well tho so can't take anything away from him.
That was it, even if we are not the most hated and ridiculed team in the history of evil and stupid teams, we are about the most frail.
Hearts spent the rest of the game chasing their tails with no leadership, or coherence.
Grudging respect to St Mirren i guess, their game plan paid off and they stuck to their task well, competed for everything blah, blah.

It is just as well we have uncovered a potential gem in Larry Kingston ( this goes part of the way to my belief that we will be a better team next season, another couple of players of his ilk and things could start to cook once again ).
Some media pundit mentioned in today's press that whilst Larry had a decent game he was in no way a replacement for Paul Hartley, that pundit has not been to Tynecastle much in the first half of this season! I dare say Hartley will get a new lease of life now that he is at his beloved Celtic.
Hearts goal came from a dubious free kick ( i don't believe the corruption or bias jibe i just think the ref is an idiot ) 20 yards out on the right side of the box. Expertly lofted over the wall and into the far corner. Thank Christ for that.

Vlad responded to the trouble he had gotten himself in, by releasing a statement on the club website. In the statement he stated that 'thank God he had not come across any conspiracies' in this country - an open reversal of his reported statements to the Russian mag.

Just couldn't help himself though, if there is one thing Vlad hates more than dodgy agents and mutinous players it is the media. Here is how Vlad visualises the Scottish media..

Rip Ding WOOOO

Breaking all the rules

It was a troubled week for Hearts on the run up to the game against Inverness Caledonian Thistle. This was mostly down to the statement regarding the debt that the club now finds itself in - a monstrous figure of £28.4M huge scary number i am sure you will agree.
The general feeling of depression was not helped by the dismal exit from the Scottish Cup to Dunfermline last weekend.

I am no financial guru and that's a fact, all i can see at the moment is that the people who own the club are the people who are paying the interest on the debt to the people who own the club - so right now Vladimir Romanov is taking money out of one pocket and putting it in the other and in doing so some numbers are moved around on various company accounts - HMFC & UKIO Bankas
The only beneficiaries would seem to be the players in our vastly over inflated first team squad, who are picking up their weekly thousands whilst getting no where near the first team. Surely Hearts will have a drastic cull at the end of this season?
That is at present to the detriment of HMFC a detriment that will have a cataclysmic effect when and only when

1. Romanov ceases to be Sugar Daddy (gets bored or decides he can't do it with provincial Hearts and moves for a bigger club at which point Hearts become Kaunas #2 ) or


2. HMFC finances become so outrageous that it puts UKIO Bankas in danger and Vlad gets toppled from his position there, or


3. Romanov empire collapses due to any myriad of financial dodgy dealings ( stress here that none are known this is pure speculation ) Romanov is jailed.


4. Some bigger bank simply buys UKIO Bankas, the tap is switched off and the debt called in.

At this moment as has been at all moments in the last couple of years the outcome for HMFC is as clear as tar. Most likely for me is number 4 here, given that big banks buy small banks all the time. We all know that the Romanov era will end at some point, sooner or later. The evidence ( announced debt ) and media comment from this week all indicate, suggest and warn that the Romanov era will end at best with HMFC in a worse position than when he took over and at worst mortally wounded.

The only comment i have on that is - Heart of Midlothian Football Club were mortally wounded when he ( Romanov ) took the reigns it would be almost impossible for him to leave us in a worse state. Going bankrupt £20M in debt is as far as i can see is no different from going bankrupt £100M in debt. Like i say i am no financial mind so comments on that statement are more than welcome. All would be lost under either scenario.

Where would we be right now if he had not taken over, most likely scenario is ...

In administration, playing St Johnstone at Murrayfield in front of 4,000 die hard supporters.

Regardless of how crazy he is he is still very much our saviour, even if in 5 years the scenario above is exactly where we are.

The continuing Craig Gordon saga has also served to depress the Tynecastle faithful, our greatest on field asset and in many ways only remaining favourite son appears now to be banished from the team for good. He will be sold in the summer and if we see him in a Hearts jersey before then we will be surprised. It is just as well that Stevie Banks is a decent keeper or the depression would be bubbling in to the manic for a lot of us Jambos. Stevie Banks is a decent keeper, better than decent in fact and i have no concerns about him taking up the mantle as 1st choice #1 what bothers me is the waste of Craig Gordon for all concerned.

Hopefully the game at Tynecastle yesterday was the conclusion to our depression and not some marker on a continuing decent into the abyss. For many reasons it was certainly a marker, all Jambos online were were sent e-mails from the club informing them that there were tickets left ( so hurry up and pick them up ) for the game. This is the first time the club has had to do this since the start of the 2005 - 06 season and indeed the game was the first non home gate sell out since then. A clear indication of the faithfuls disgruntlement. The atmosphere was subdued and tetchy, not helped by the 300 or so ICT fans who themselves seemed bored and depressed. Their favourite jibe was the obvious twisting of the Hibs favourite .. "Vladimir Romanov, he s**ks Paul Hartley off" into "Vladimir Romanov, he f**ked Paul Hartley off".

The atmosphere on the run up to the kick off was further dishevelled ( correct me if i am wrong because i was not in a good position to be certain ) by the unveiling of the huge Hearts jersey that had previously been unfurled down the height of the Wheatfield Stand, this time directly over my head down the centre of the Gorgie Stand. We all became aware that the bloody thing was upside down!

To keep with the upside down theme then i will summarise the game before i get into the nitty gritty. So if you are already bored with this blog entry you can just read the next paragraph and be done with it -

My parting comment as we split to take our seats in the stand before kick off was "We better put in a performance or it is going to feel cold out there today" by the end of the game i was bloody freezing!

Banks was called into action early in the game, the first ICT attack in fact, a throw in from the right was flicked on and landed for Graham Bayne to knock goal ward, a little awkward to take and the effort was a tad weak but a good save from Banks nonetheless. Once again for all of Hearts mighty big squad, a couple of injuries and we struggled badly for cover - no Bruno Aguair or Salius Mikoliunas and Hearts had to re-invent Callum Elliot as a right midfielder and play with Julien Brellier and Laryea Kingston in the centre. Looked to me as though Kingston and Brellier are too similar and a combination of Kingston or Brellier with Aguair may be a better blend. Not too surprising then that the team had a makeshift feel to it however we seemed to play the ball on the deck more than we have done of late, not that that would be too difficult. Driver playing left midfield had the beating of the ICT defence every time until they realised the threat and started to double up on him. This is a good sign but one which we need to recognise and use to our advantage. If they need to double up on the flanks we should be able to move the ball around with a bit more freedom deeper infield looking for that telling pass, a bit of patience maybe required. Lets face it though Hearts are quite far away from a patient, probing outfit with excellent ball retention capabilities.

Arkadiusz Klimek started the game quite well, with a 25 yard shot always rising but a decent effort nonetheless and a neat back heel to put Jankauskas through on goal. As the game progressed however a decent start turned into a dismal conclusion. The Hearts support had decided fairly quickly that anything less than brilliant by any of the new players was to be vilified immediately. A bit unfair i thought bu Klimek did not help himself really, a good move playing him through from midfield early in the second half wasted by him with a ludicrous scoop to the back post when a cut back to Kingston screaming towards the penalty spot was a much better option. Lack of fitness may have crept in but from that point on Klimek struggled with the basics required to make any impact on the game.

Edgaras Jankauskas on the other hand started the game badly and just got worse, he seemed to be penalised every time the ball went near him, can't all have been victimisation. The neat back heel from Klimek was wasted by Jankauskas as he tried to fend of the defender ( fouling him in the process ) rather than just having a shot at goal. Jankauskas is looking more like a waste of space every time he trots on to the park and at a time when our finances are under a great deal of scrutiny he can be seen as nothing more than an unnecessary drain on the club.

Focus on Laryea ( Larry ) Kingston.

Bonkers hair cut.

On the whole i was pretty encouraged by his performance. He played some really good balls through to the front players both on the ground and over the top. He played the ball into the box early when he got the opportunity, this is something we have missed badly and something Miko should take note of. Larry looked as though he wanted a split second longer on the ball than he was being allowed, caught in possession a couple of times and forced into a pass he didn't want to do a couple of others. Just seemed like the fabled pace of the British game and something i am sure he will adapt to. Most telling really that when Larry got moved out to the right of midfield when Elliot ( out of position and having a 2nd half shocker ) was replaced by Eggert Johanson, the midfield lost a lot and crosses started coming in from the right. On the whole a good home debut. About the only thing i can see that can go wrong with Larry's Tynecastle career would be if our rotation policy just p*sses him off and he switches off.

ICT had forced a good few corners and they always looked quite dangerous although that seemed to be more down to our back four than their attack. No idea how Hearts have managed so many clean sheets of late but if it keeps up it is a statistic that will soon start to count big time. Banks also came to our rescue a couple of times especially in the fist half, this concluded in turning a ball round the post that deceptively swirled towards the bottom right corner.

Hearts were frustrated that they just couldn't get a stranglehold on the game and it seemed all to easy for ICT to break things up in midfield. Hearts then had to settle with playing well in elusive flashes throughout the first half and most of the second. However those flashes were pretty good when they came mostly coming from Driver and or Kingston or when Fyassas ventured forward. Our biggest problem was a completely ineffectual front two, this has been a problem all season and if you think about it last season as well ( remember the vast majority of Hearts goals came from midfield last year, that well has run dry ). For all our multitude of strikers we look toothless up there. Bednar came on for Jankauskas and looked a bit livelier, Kingston put him through but he just couldn't get enough behind it to beat the keeper. He then succeedded in twisting himself in knots on the left wing before dropping out of the game for good.

Michael Pospisil then came on for the by then dejected looking Klimek and with his first touch of the ball settled our nerves and the game. Driver on the left once again covered by 2 or 3 ICT players could not make for the byline so he cut inside and knocked a back post cross in with his right. Pospisil rose at the back post to head the ball back across the keeper and into the net for a text book finish. So that is how easy it is. A fairly grudging roar of relief from the crowd was as good as the goal received. The Hearts support remain unconvinced and nervous by the goings on of the last few weeks.

Another home game next week, another win and an improved performance, as spring is looms around the corner, is a must if HMFC and their supporters are to get the spring back in their step.

HOOOO ON THE JAMBOS

Obesity

This is going to be a struggle isn't it.
Here goes.

I did not catch much of the game at Dunfermline on Saturday. This was largely down to this weekend being one of those big 6 nations days where my interest and loyalties are always stretched and divided.
It was a bad weekend for sport all round then, this is how it panned out.
I did make some effort to catch the cup game against Dunfermline on the radio, but i could only get coverage online and i had stuff i had to be doing so i had to keep moving around and couldn't keep track on the proceedings - either that or the game in the first half was so diabolical that my brain rejected the coverage.
At 4 the rugby started and my attention was diverted to the TV. After an initial pounding by England which we seemed to have weathered without losing too much, Scotland took the lead. Short lived, very short lived and for the rest of the first half Scotland hung on valiantly.
Every now and then during this first half i would be checking the score in the Hearts game, a not totally unsurprising 0 - 0 each time i checked.
Pretty soon into the second half it became blatantly obvious that Scotland were going to get beat in this game, so my interest switched to the Hearts result, back to the radio to pick the bones out of the the nil - nil. Within seconds of switching on the radio it is clear that nil - nil was not the result and Hearts had taken a sore 1 - 0 defeat, a goal 4 minutes into injury time.
Disgusted i switched the radio off and back to the TV.
Within a couple of minutes it was clear that Scotland were on for a bit of a tanking from Jonny boy Wilkinson and the rest of the auld enemy. Disgusted i switched the telly off and turned back to the radio.
By now i am pretty disconsolate, the sporting weekend is shot.

The radio is turned back on just in time for me to hear Valdas Ivanauskas's post match interview on Radio Scotland.
Incredulous as well as totally disgusted the radio was switched off for good.
If you did not hear the interview it was awful a disgrace to our club really.
There is no excuse, no cultural or language barrier can excuse Valdas's complete lack of acceptance of any blame ( him, his tactics or the players ) for the fact that we had just been dumped out of the cup.
All he could come up with when pressed for 'Valdas what went wrong?'
was
'some pe er peepl they think arts is a a dive arts is a diving club, is not goot for arts, er Roman'

For the above nonsense read - Hearts are again victimised by everyone on the planet it is really not our fault, toys oot the pram.

I did not listen to the whole of the interview i was so totally p'd off by his attitude that i walked away in ...... you guest it in disgust!
I am floundering whilst i write this, i can't get the words out to express just how f**k*ng angry that b*ll*cks made me.
That quite simply is just not good enough, Valdas needs to be in a position where you can explain what went wrong and what went right, with some semblance of logic and dignity, respect and decorum.

Feels to me like the season is toast and in a way i am glad all this sh*te has been exhausting. Of course it is not, there are still games against Hibs and the rest of them to be negotiated and i guess there is a European place to be fought for - Celtic beat Hibs in the Scottish Cup Final to free up a UEFA cup spot for Hearts to take, that's about as good as it feels we can expect right now.
Right now it feels like we need to skulk into a corner and lick our wounds and to build some kind of team spirit out of the broken wheel we currently have. I would be happy just to see some evidence of that before the season ends.
The worst thing is it all seems so self inflicted, the latest episodes of Vlad's strategic and tactical self harming has sent many Hearts supporters over the edge ( again ). I am teetering i have to say.
Hartley sold to Celtic feels like Vlad is certifiable in his megalomania - It is as if he would rather see Hearts burst and finished as a football team than have us reach any level of success if means a decision of his is not followed to the letter.
So the Riccarton 3 go! Gordon currently ostracised and will go in the summer, would have went in January if anyone was really interested. That's fair enough if there is descent, no player is bigger than the club blah blah but Vlad's handling of the situation probably couldn't have been worse - i would not be surprised if Vlad ends up making an arse of things with Gordon such that we get next to b*gger all for him and his career is set back years. All this so Vlad can impose his obese ego on any deviation from the party line. Where is Vlad's mum, if she is still with us we should call her - maybe she can give him a clip round the ear, strap him back in his pram.

Talk today of takeover bids £45M from an Icelandic billionaire in consortium with some others, Scottish and middle eastern. £45m is pretty much the value of the land plus taking on the debt, does that mean it is a good deal?

Any roads apologies for this rubbish post but it is the best i can do under these adverse circumstances.

Come on now folks


HOOOO On The Jambos