Edinburghs two teams provide the polar opposites or so it would seem - Hearts are ugly and Hibs are .. well whats the opposite of ugly - i guess it is pretty, yes Hibs are .. pretty.
If you listen to John Collins in pre or post match interviews for his team he will often come out with phrases like 'doing the right thing' and 'playing the right way'. This is interpreted by most as playing the ball on the deck in an open and expansive style, brimming with pace and vision and not lacking in technique or quality. But does it mean squat when all it gets you is defeat. Listening to Gordon Smith in place of James Trainor yesterday evening brought a number of disgruntled Hibees onto the blower to complain that 'JC needs to learn how to win ugly, cos good football doesn't always cut it'. Is this some heresy from disillussioned Hibee or is there an uprising of pragmatism down Easter Road way? Is it just me or is Gordon Smith covering for James Trainor like watching an episode of The Office - if i could squint my ears whilst i listen i would. Gordon is one of the better pundits on Radio Scotland but sounds as though he would rather be anywhere else than covering for Mr Trainor.
The good , the bad and the ugly - this season Hearts have been all 3 and many times over!
For me though how can yesterdays game at Tynecastle be described as "Hearts winning ugly", since to be ugly you first need to have some discernible features, some identifiable characteristics and for those facets to be in some way unpleasant or obnoxious. But yesterdays match had absolutely no features whatsoever! It was completely devoid of character, visually unpleasant or otherwise. That was "Hearts winning with mousy brown hair, freckles and a twin set n pearls"
Things were a bit different this week, i managed to wangle a trip to the pub before the game, it was like a throw back to some earlier existence, before children! when i could think of no better way to approach a game than to protect myself from the probable horror ahead with a veil of alcohol to drape over my maroon specs. A couple of hours in the Caley Sample Rooms then was the perfect set-me-up for yesterdays game, i didn't know it at the time but i do now.
I normally take notice of the build up to the game but to be honest i can't remember how things were, the ground was full - hows that! I have heard that we have decided to cease with our huddle - did not notice if we huddled or not - but i hope we didn't and i hope we are now rid of it it - it harks back to Pressley and Hartley and a different team no longer relevant.
I normally take notice of the line-ups as they are announced but i missed this one, i was therefore surprised when i couldn't find Zaliukas on the pitch, seemed that Kancelkis had taken his place. Turned out that Zaliukas hurt himself during the warm up to the game.
Shock horror Hearts make only one other change to the team which started against Hibs last week - i would like to know why this is not news, i would like to know when the media are going to start treating this as news! For just about every game this season Hearts have been lambasted, ridiculed, laughed at even, by all comers for our seemingly pathological need to mess with the team so why is it not commented upon when we don't. Larry Kingston came in for Philibaitus, just plain exactly the right thing to do in antibody's book. Karipidis remained at right back ( he had a decent game, probably the best game he has had for Hearts in the strange faceless kind of way that characterised the game he seemed to stroll through the proceedings ) .
At Easter Road last week Hearts turned up with 5 in midfield and no one could argue with it, we will no doubt turn up with the same at Ibrox in a fortnight and no one will argue with that. But to turn up 4 - 5 - 1 at home against Kilmarnock when the only course of action is to turn the heat up and pile as much pressure on Aberdeen as we can, had plenty arguing in my head! There was stranger to come later though.
Both teams matched up and quickly cancelled each other out, there is the school of thought that in our goldfish bowl we know each other too well which leads too often to sterile encounters where the difference between the teams is negligible. I don't really hold to much truck with that but Christ this game was an advert for that theory. I think you could forgive Kilmarnock for entering into the end of season spirit early since they really do now have nothing at all to play for, their cup adventure coming crashing in around their ears a couple of weeks ago against the pretty ones
But Hearts we surely had loads to play for, free from the disaster of finishing below Hibs we could now centre our sights on a clearly standard Aberdeen team who were clearly gaining points at a rate which would render them 3rd if they carried on as they had been going - Have they been winning ugly i wonder? does anyone care? least of all in the Granite City.
Hearts had 3 corners on the bounce midway through the first half which had the feel of a goal about them but it was not to be. Larry Kingston , who is the only football player we have at the moment had a crack at goal but it was never going in and that was about it in the first 45.
I had hoped for more in the second half and i guess it was marginally better but really where was the drive, the enthusiasm for the fight - even the desperation. For all the world it struck me that Hearts played this game like they expected the winning goal was inevitable, which it patently was not. There are those amongst the Hearts support who have developed at best a distrust of our Lithuanian contingent and at worst a racist view that Lithuanians are in themselves substandard and have no place in our team or our country. I believe this is a reaction to the transgressions of our wayward owner. In the Gorgie Stand in that second half Iveskivicious came in for a fair pounding whenever he made a mistake! He did hit the line once though and put over the only ball of quality all afternoon, Velicka's diving header went a couple of feet wide, shame it would have been a good goal.
After an hour or so Hearts made what may well be one of the most perplexing substitutions i have ever witnessed, if i had not been so dazed and confused ( one of those was caused by the alcohol but i am not sure which one ) i may well have just gone home then - Velicka our only striker was taken off for McCann ( a midfielder ) for us to go, wait for it ... 4 - 6 - 0.
We didn't really the much maligned Iveskivicious moved to centre forward, but i mean come on for crying out loud!
In reality it made next to no difference to us, as one striker was just as impotent as the other.
Hearts had managed to moved a bit closer to second gear and were perhaps looking the more likely when Pospisil came on for the dazed and confused ( wonder if he had gone to the Sample Rooms too ) Iveskivicious. A free kick in an awkward position, too central and too deep to really be considered a danger was whipped in to the penalty spot and with the Kilmarnock defence inexplicably posted, well, somewhere else Pospisil was yards unmarked and sent the header goalward, the Killie keeper got a hand to it but not enough and in it went. I half expected the ref to call it back because the Kilmarnock defence were not ready.
Unbelievable.
Kilmarnock upped their gears a little and forced a corner or two, a goal moth scramble was knocked clear as the game drew to a close, not quite over though. A bad foul on the Hearts left touchline brought Goncalves screaming across and steaming in, no real contact i don't think but it did seem to spark the melee that ensued. Goncalves ordered off, don't think he can really have any complaints, maybe if he had waded in from ten yards away he might have got away with it.
Cup next weekend so no Hearts game to think about, just
HOOOO ON THE PARS
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