Sunday, January 29, 2006

Yellow Submarine

All together now ( to the tune of Yellow Submarine )

Rudi Skacel is a F**k'n goal machine, a F**k'n goal machine, a F**k'n goal machine.

For my money you can swap 'goal machine' for 'lunatic' and it works perfectly well.
Rudi is 100% certifiable lunatic, in the best possible way.
After scoring one and setting up the other three goals in the four - one demolition of sad sad Hibees you can understand Rudi's delight! At the end of the game he is going through his standard winning ritual of swanning around the pitch applauding the crowd etc. This time he takes his top off and starts waving it about above his head - Andy Webster comes over and must have said 'why don't you throw your top into the crowd Rudi, the fans will love it" Rudi promptly lobs his top into the Wheatfield stand. Not enough tho by the time Rudi has gotten round to the Gorgie stand he has decided to also take his shorts off and lob them into the stand too. Just as well he had some cycling shorts on underneath - like i say Rudi Skacel is a f**k'n lunatic.

What a display by Skacel, here is how it went.
For a number of reasons including,
The dismal display against Kilmarnock last week
Continuing injuries and suspensions, Jankauskas, Bednar, Pressley, Pospisil not fully fit
Never knowing which Hibs team will turn up
I spent the whole week thinking this was going to be a tough one, to the point where by Friday, my water had devined an impending defeat. I couldn't see where the goals would come from. Shows you how much i know!
The first 5 minutes were 200 miles an hour all in the direction of the Hibs goal, no real chances but corners won and all was looking good.
Then and very suddenly.
Hibs kicked in to gear and owned the next 15 minutes of the game, creating 3 good chances. Good chances yes but all were fairly easily dealt with by Craig Gordon, still i was believing my waters and preparing for the goal that seemed on it's way.
Then and very suddenly.
A break away down the left, Elliot collects and brings Fyassis into the game who plays a ball right down the channel for Skacel to chase down. Never thought he would make it but he strecthed right at the line and cut back for Hartley at the front post to dispatch for 1 - 0.
Against the run of play sure but Hearts never looked back and immediately went for the juggular. The next 25 minutes was a fine example of our now familiar tactic of completely overwhelming the opposition. There is not a team in Scotland who can live with Hearts when they hit this form.
A free kick 5 minutes later is swung over to the back post, Christophe Berra knocks down for Skacel to leather the ball down off the ground through a crowded box and over the keeper in the opposite corner of the net. Rudi SKacel is a ....................
Hibs are rocking and beginning to lose the plot by now. Scott Brown, had been tackled from the back very early in the game by Brellier who took the booking. Brown kept playing but it was clear he was injured. Both Stewart and Thomson were putting it about in frustration as much as anything else.
Hearts had Lee Johnson making his home debut, this is the guy we took from Yeovil, must say i worried for him. He looks about 5ft 0 and 7 stone - seemed a tidy wee player tho and looks like he might spark up a good midfield partnership with Hartley.
As half time is approaching Rudi takes hold of the ball and goes for the kill, Hibs defence chase him into the box, Rudi cuts inside and two defenders lunge in at the same time - penalty. Hartley slams into the top corner. 3 - 0 and Tynecastle is rocking and Hibs supporters are leaving.
I did not see the sending off incident, an elbow in Mikoliunas's face by Gary Smith, just seen the aftermath. looked like an off the ball incident. Hibs had lost the plot.
Lucky for Hibs, half time came soon after this.
I have seen a load of derby games now where Hearts were running away with things 2 or 3 up at half time but this is the first time i think i can remember when the punters were genuinely thinking about the possibility of turning in a 7-0. By 5 minutes into the second half i was too. Another rampaging Skacel run down the left and stinging cross to the front post for Elliot to ram home from close range 4 - 0.
Got to give Hibs some credit here, they stuck to it, never gave up kept playing away. They got their goal at a time when Hearts took their foot off the pedal for a few minutes. Wee fast Irish bloke Sproule had made a couple of runs down the wings and into the box when Hearts should have been snuffing him out. O'connor took the ball in midfield and managed to swan about just outside the box before slamming a shot low into the corner of the net. The remaining Hibs fans kind of managed a bit of a celebration, but they were on their way home anyway.
Hearts put together a pile more chances but the heat was out of their display, it can't be easy this overwhelm the oppossition tactic, must cost some amount of energy, so i guess you can forgive them for slowing down a bit. But at 4 - 0 if we had pushed that little bit more and got the 5th, the 7 - 0 was definitely on the cards. Still not to be and we don't care. After the 2 - 0 defeat down at Easter Road earlier in the season a said next time they came we would kick their skinny green arses and thats exactly what we did, bloody marvelous. Celtic dropped 2 points also letting a 3 - 1 at home turn in to a 3 - 3 against Dundee Utd. Not saying anything about that they are still 8 points ahead. Rangers have now taken over Hibs into 3rd place, without being very good at all they are at least a football team again, unlike the aberration they were at the start of the season. Don't think Hibs will see 3rd place again this year. So thats where we are, Celtic have us by 8 and we have Rangers by 7 and there is still a lot of football to be played.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

All over bar the shouting

OK i have struggled to bring myself to put any words down about Hearts, but here goes.
Two games have come and gone since the last update. The details are completely unimportant, it's all just arithmetic in the end.
We got 3 out of 6 and Celtic got 6 out of 6 and we are now 10 points adrift and closer to Rangers and Hibs than we are to the league leaders.

So all thoughts of a glorious league campaign are tucked away in the drawer for another decade or so.
We still have the cup, yes the cup is still there for the taking, and we still have a very creditable 2nd place to be fought for, and it will be a fight there is little doubt about that. I just can't get excited about coming 2nd tho, i have been there before.

The buggers got us dreaming again, after the fantastic demolition of Falkirk on boxing day and the desperate fortune of 'that game against Celtic' (the more i think about that one the more lucky Celtic were to get out of Tynecastle with anything at all never mind all the points).
We had a hard fought victory against Kilmarnock in the cup at Tynecastle a week later then the first of the two games i mentioned earlier - away to Dunfermline.
A shaky first 30 minutes with Hearts huffing and puffing but not really getting very far, the game finished with Hearts running away four-one winners. There were claims of 'Hearts are back on top form once again' and 'this league ain't over yet', couple this with lots of movement in the transfer market and we were once again beginning to believe that we could make up this deficit. After all we still have Celtic to play twice and both Rangers and Hibs are there to take points off them.
The transfer market has been too active and is still too volatile to go into in depth, it will all settle down at the end of January and we will see where we are then. The last 15 minutes of the Dunfermline game, game over was marked by all 3 Hearts substitutes being new names.
There was a moment of brilliance reported by Radio Scotland pundits as 'nearly the goal of the century', Rudi Skacel was 30 yards out on the left touchline when he spotted the keeper just off his line, he curled a shot with the outside of his left boot over the keeper and destined for the top corner. The ball came off the junction of post and bar. Sounds like it would have been a cracker and just like the kind of goal i score in Pro-evo soccer everyday. We were show boating in the end and i spent the whole week on the up thinking "OK we lost to Celtic but it was a very close call and since Ibrox we have been playing as good if not better than at any time this season".
Then we go to Rugby park.
Arse!
Meantime and i am not so sure about this - Neil McCann re-signs for Hearts, OK he's a legend from 98 in any case and he's/was a solid international, proven decent quality, but you know he's in his (early) thirties so i am not so sure it is such a great move. He plays on the left in almost exactly the Skacel role so is this Hearts accepting that Skacel is not ours to keep and he has sold himself far too well in this shop window and Marseille will sell him onto bigger and better things - who knows. I suppose the timing couldn't have been better McCann is straight in the team against Kilmarnock for the now suspended Rudi Skacel ( vast majority if not all his bookings have been for 'appearing too happy after scoring a goal', this is a new rule over here these days, it is almost impossible to score and then have a laugh without getting booked)
The fates conspire once again as it appears that McCann is the only Hearts player who looks like he might do something against Kilmarnock until he gets his knee ligaments ripped out after 20 odd minutes - he's out for 2 months. Hearts never recovered and without Pressley ( also suspended ) there was an air of innevitability in the defeat we took.
Had McCann not taken that injury i guess things might have worked out - i have whinged a bit lately that for all Skacel's greatness you never really get more than a half out of him. I seem to remember McCann being just the same so maybe playing them a half each would have worked really well.

Comedy moment of the week.
For a long time now, Celtic supporters (mostly) have referred to Ibrox as "Castle Greyskull", this is after an eighties cartoon series called He-Man or something like that.
Rangers in response call Parkhead 'The Piggery', not wishing to take sides but that just has no class at all.
So lying in bed saturday morning watching BBC News24, the weather report is being delivered by a wee scots lass, she is relating the weather to all the major sporting events of the day, at this point she is in Scotland. She goes through each of the big games given her thoughts on what the weather will be like for the game, finally she gets to the last venue and says, dead pan with quality execution - "It will be dry and sunny but cold, around seven degrees, so rap up warm if you are travelling to Castle Greyskull this afternoon for the Rangers v Livingston match". She is apparently a Kilmarnock fan upset at Rangers stealing their striker, not that they needed him against us.

So Hibs at the weekend, never have a clue which Hibs team will turn up, we will not be on full cylinders so this one could be a real struggle. Hopefully i will have a bit more of a grin on my face for the next installment.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Ramblings

Originally posted on 8th January, mostly responses here to questions i was asked about why there was no director of football and why we could no longer beat either side of the gruesome twosome. Meantime we had beat kilmarnock 2 - 1 in the cup but i have completely neglected to mention anything about it.


Hey,

You know it man, this is nothing new for us long suffering brethren.
I think at the moment i am just glad that i only have one team to lead me through the mire. Interested tho i get ( a bit ) i just don't feel the Leafs, maybe if we got to see some of the games over here i would get in there too.
Jambo's for ever indeed and this is still the most spectacular season at Tynecastle for eons and it is not going to stop.

The why's
I think it is pretty clear over here, to put it in laymans terms ........ "Romanov, he's a blaw, is eh no"
There was a documentary on BBCScotland a few weeks back, it was a very poorly veiled attempt at undermining our owner. The basic premise was to uncover some of his unsavoury business exploits over the years whilst he ammassed his millions. I ask you what successful entrepreneur does not have a few dodgy deals in his closet? The best they could come up with was a scam he has with a company in Croatia or something like that where he is exploiting a loophole in their tax laws so he can maximise the companies profit at the expense of the workers pension scheme. All sounds pretty ruthless but i still think that there are many worse goings on in your bog standard global conglomerate. Basically he is not a mafia boss or a KGB agent just a bloke who made a lot of money selling western shit to the Russians during the collapse of the Soviet Union. But that is not my point, during the show he was interviewed and stated (this is pretty much verbatim) "In ten years Hearts will be champions of Europe! Hearts will never be beaten five nil from Barcelona or Real Madrid, Hearts will be champions and i will be Hearts champion" Good grief can you imagine any British boss coming out with that kind of wild statement and he had this smile on his face like you just knew that he knew he was talking shite. I figured this is a cultural thing it is ok in his neck of the woods to come out with outrageous stuff like that, infact the people expect and respect that kind of possitive talk. Over here tho we just kind of shrug our shoulders and give it - "come oan man get real".
So the long and short of it is, this bloke will say just about anything if he thinks it sounds good at the time.
I think Hearts must be seen as a poisoned challice by a lot of the football world and will stay that way until at least the end of the season at least. Maybe then if the keel is even we might be in better shape to attract, players, managers and DOFs.

I am maybe warming a little to Rix, the style of football over most of the last two games has been as good as anything, maybe even better than under Burley. Maybe he just took a bit of time to get the team to start playing again after the trauma's, well see, cup game against Kilmarnock at the weekend and we play Hibs pretty soon so chances to get us smiling again.
and.
I was never really convinced by Burley, not for any other reason than he had never managed the team under pressure so the jury was still out, Rix at least has picked up a really hot potato and is running with it. Could just have been that Burley happened upon a brand new team, who clicked and caught a lot of people cold. If you analyse the results and the performances from the start of the season - apart from the first 3 games of Burleys reign, each game was steadily less good than the one before. The logical end was allways to start drawing games and eventually start losing games too. I remember commenting on the 1-0 win up at Inverness in September that it was far too early to be using the "grinding out a result when you are not playing well is a sign of a championship team" adage.
I am liking Rix's approach to substitutions at the moment, over the past 3 games he is making exactly the right change and in good time also - none of this bringing a new striker on with 7 minutes to go. For sure it didn't work against Celtic but he was forced into that with Fyassas being ordered off. His changes are just made with conviction and make absolute sense.

Burley is now manager of Southampton who have lost their 3 games under him, if Heart of Midlothian football club is a hot potato then Southampton is the English equivalent - Harry Rednapp, has now moved from managing arch rivals Portsmouth to managing Southampton for 6 months then moved back to Portsmouth, meanwhile Southampton get relegated from the premiership for the first time since the 70s.

Paul Weller

Originally sent on 4th january after that game against Celtic

Once wrote.......

ana kick in the balls, ah say, Thats Entertainment, Thats Entertainme-ent.

It sure was like a huge drop kick in the balls but it certainly wasn't entertaining.

We had a wee bash in our house on hogmanay and i mentioned to one of the guys - Jonny Crisp ( so known for his heroic crisp eating exploits ) he could just as easily be known as Jonny the Tim tho. I said - i can feel it in my blood mate, tomorrow will be the biggest winning margin i have ever witnessed against Celtic. In truth a 2 goal win is the best i have ever seen. A 3 - 1 win just after you left for Canada and also memorable as the day Marie's wee brother broke his ankle celebrating the third goal ( jumping around like an eejit in our spot behind the goal by the shed, the terrace was a precarious place )
By 2:15 on Sunday i thought my dream was manifest reality and at least a 4 goal kicking of the tic was coming, me and Nathan and the rest of 3/4 of Tynecastle were delirious. By 3:47 we were dumbstruck, bewildered, dazed and confused.

I guess you may well have got this game so i won't go through it kick by tackle. A few of the highlights.
I hate that bloody last man, clear cut goal scoring, foul = immediate red card rule. I just can't see how you can rule that a player makes a genuine challenge for the ball, gets it wrong and gets sent off. It is just not right. Anyroads a lot of talk that Bobo Balde carried out an exact replica of the Fyassas sending off challenge in the first half, and so therefore should have also been sent off. It is allways the inconsistencies that annoy us most. Neither should have gone in my book - the fact that Fyassas walked and Balde did not absolutely meant that Celtic took the points and not Hearts.
Hearts lost to two stupid tackles deep in our left back position (Fyassas's side) two free kicks and equally free headers and we were sunk. I am absolutely certain tho that only one or none of those stupid tackles would have gone in if Fyassas had still been on the park. Skacel and Hartley the guilty eejits.
The difference between the Fyassas and Balde incidents was in the drama of the two cases -
Balde :- A neat passing movement on Hearts right just outside the box split the packed Celtic defence and in an instant Cesnauskis was straight through. Balde is a big lumbering oaf and just flew in and took Cesnauskis late. Free kick and a booking. Exactly right in my book. All over in an instant.
Fyassas :- Hearts were pressing and lost possession in midfield, Celtic broke very fast and a great ball was played down their left channel. As a mark of how pressing we had been our central defence was nowhere and Fyassas had to come across from our left back to the opposite side of the box to make the challenge. So the scene is - Celtics shaun malloney and Hearts Takiss Fyassis both make 40 yard dashes for the ball, which is racing towards Hearts 18 yard box. No one else is anywhere near it. It was pure 50 50 stuff and so for me should never be a sending off no matter if Malloney is floored or not. A genuine challenge is a genuine challenge. But the point is it just looked much more spectacular than the Balde incident, and i have to say, the minute the challenge went in i muttered - he's off! It was the opposite end of the ground from me so i did not catch the subtelties but by all accounts it was never going to be a goal scoring opportunity as Malloney knocked the ball too far forward and Fyassas never actually caught him anyway. I guess thats what happens when you slide tackle in from 15 yards out.

With the tempers settling as well as the dust, apparently there were big time battles on McLoed street. This was pretty much a coffin nail of a game, our challenge may never recover from this one, we definitely need Celtic to slip some serious points over the next few weeks and if we don't watch out we will get sucked into a 2nd3rd4th playoff with Rangers and Hibs. But take note of this - there was absolutely nothing between the teams. Hearts were guilty of two things only, we should have scored at least one more in the first half and we really lost the plot after Fyassas left the park. There was a lot of talk of Hearts dropping deeper and deeper in the second half, this is not true, if anything i thought we could have dropped a bit deeper still and contained them, may not even have lost the first goal that way.

Falkirk

There was no post for the Boxing day demolition of Falkirk, as i phoned instead. Like politics a week is a very short time in football. Hearts were bloody brilliant and the talk was all about the upcoming 6 pointer against Celtic and what we were going to do to them.

I have allways hated Rangers

Originally sent on 18th December after what will hopefully be the lowest point of this season.

We're f&*cked !!
Wheels are off !! Hearts have gone into a shell and don't look like they can find a way out of it.
We are selling Hartley in the January window, supposedly buying a replacement from Liverpool but get this. He has been out all season with first a broken foot and now 2 broken vertebrae? He will not be fit until February but even then, can you see him putting it about in the maelstrom of a Scottish Premier league encounter.
Looks like the mallaise that has blighted Rangers season up to now, has virus like, transported itself to Tynecastle.
I am gutted and can't carry on like this - At least they didn't take us to the final game of the season before breaking our Hearts, but this is the first time since then that i have dared to consider the impossible and for that i hate the b&*tards.
We play Falkirk at Tynecastle on boxing day then Celtic again at home on New Years day, if nothing changes we will draw with Falkirk and take a hiding from Celtic. This will leave Celtic 11 points clear and sailing unchallenged to the title by the end of February.
I am not going to carry on as i am too dissappointed but perhaps the worst thing is that the new coach Rix doesn't even seem to be that bothered, he just seems to be accepting this as "alright because we put the effort in". Crap Rix ya pr*ck, we were brilliant and now we are shite and it is the same group of players so what would you like to say about that?

I will give you a bell on Boxing day after the Falkirk game ( will you be in ? ) let you know how things are going verbally. Although i am pretty sure you will have picked up my feelings on this season, i have been wearing my heart on my mails for a good while now.
Exhausted and defeated i am signing off.

lapsed believer
D

Dazed and Confused

Originally sent on 5th December

We're top o' the league and your no !!

Another ditty from the over excitable terraces at tynecastle. At the time of writing this and for a few hours anyroads, Hearts are once again setting the pace at the head of the SPL. Celtic travel to Aberdeen this afternoon to play their game in hand and a victory will take them ahead of Hearts by a point.
After two fairly dismal and just plain not good enough away draws, things have been looking decidedly ropey on this years title challenge. Celtic took the initiative and managed to scrape two points ahead of Hearts then inexplicably lost at home to bottom of the table Dunfermline. The Jambo's however could not capitalise on this by only scraping an ill earned draw away at Motherwell to bring them within a point. This was last week!

A hard earned point away to an Aberdeen side who were well up for a battle against Hearts two weeks ago was Graham Rix's first game in charge - i couldn't really argue with it because Aberdeen were getting stuck right into us coming away with a draw and no major injuries was about as good as we could have expected.
The draw away at Motherwell tho was a different kettle of fish. The English premiership is getting slated at the moment for being boring only one team in it and everyone plays 4-5-1. Rix sends out his charges at Fir park adopting this, less than optimistic formation. Just not good enough for a team supposed to be putting together a challenge. On top of this, our two main strikers are out injured and Rix completely drops the natural replacement ( he is not even on the bench ) Pospicil. He playes young Callum Elliot up front on his own. I have no idea what he was thinking - still in the honeymoon period or he would have been taken to task over that one. We go one down and at least Rix had the forethought to go back to 4-4-2 for the fight back. This is what, if it happens, will kill our challenge, too many away draws! We need to win these matches, we need to win all these matches.
Rix is by all accounts, considered in England to be an excellent coach, real top quality. His managerial pedigree is a bit of - not very good and not yet proven but it is fairly clear that he would have been in a better position in English management if it were not for his shady past ( this is the last time i will mention his shady past ). I am suspicious tho, the 4-5-1 nonsense leads me to be a bit worried about his tactical view of the world. It is early days but i don't think we can afford to fart about here, we can't allow a bad month or six weeks whilst he beds in his view point, whatever he does has to be on the hoof of a winning streak that lasts until May, right.
So on Saturday i witnessed something i have never seen before i am still confused and worried and want an answer. looks like no-one else saw it tho cos no one seems to be making any noises - get this
Hartley plays right centre midfield
Brellier plays left centre midfield
I saw these two swap positions everytime they found themselves on the wrong side of each other ( regardless of what was going on around them ) - Livi could have the ball be chasing through the midfield and Hartley/Brellier would be right there but would stop and swap places rather than make a challenge. The same thing happened if their full backs overlapped their midfield and our midfield tracked them. They could be getting ready to swing a cross over and just when we should be challenging our midfield and full back would swap over rather than make the necessary lunge. Got the impression that Rix was trying to force through some over complex tactics that the players just couldn't work out - maybe we will get there but the only reason livi did not make us pay on Saturday was because no one runs off the ball in that woefull 1st division outfit.
So Thank god for Rudi Skacel, two goals, the first a peach - collects the ball 40 yards out on the left, dances round two and spanks a shot into the opposite top corner of the net from 25 yards out. The second wasn't quite so fabulous but was equally clinical in execution.
I watched Rudi warm up before the game started, he hovered around outside the box and just slammed shot after shot with venom into the net - he broke the net as well during this tirade - i figured he was in the mood and it turned out so - these two goals came in the first 15 minutes. At that point for all the world we were on for 6 or 7, as it turned out that was it for us, plenty of chances to win this one 3 times over. A bit of bad finishing and bad luck it could have been over by half time. Livi scored a good goal on the hour mark and had a bizarre goal chalked off - a throw in on the left bounced around the penalty spot straight over Craig Gordon and into the net - apparently it did not touch anyone on it's trajectory and it needs to??
More chances to kill the game go begging so in the end we kind of hobbled to a 2 - 1 win.
Not too bothered by that more concerned about the weird tactical stuff going on.

Time has passed and Celtic won up in Aberdeen so go back to the top by 1 point, they come to Tynecastle on 1st January - looks like a seminal game at the halfway point to me - before that tho we have Inverness at tynecastle and then away to Ibrox. Ah Rangers, the high point of the season really - they are currently enduring their worst run in the whole of their 132 year history - it is hillarious and they are truly shite. This weekend they gave away a 2 - 0 lead at home to draw 2 - 2 with Falkirk. I just hope to god that their innevitable first step on the long road to recovery is not a gubbing of Hearts in a fortnight. By this Thursday they will have a new manager and 10M to spend on players when the transfer window opens in January.
Most talk in Hearts land about this transfer window is can we keep Rudi Skacel, not really in our hands, he is on loan from Marseille so all we could do is make an offer and hope it is good enough but everyone from Newcastle to Liverpool to Werder Bremmen and a clutch of Italian teams have been over watching him over the past few weeks. So if we manage to keep him i will be surprised and delighted. We will sign a couple of others but you only pull a gem like Skacel once a decade i think.

Novels

Originally sent on 8th November, after a good display against Dundee Utd and more importantly more, much more disruption behind the scenes.


Where to begin, Novels could have been written ( probably will be ) about the goings on down Tynecastle way since we last communicated. Has it only been a week.
Lets start with the football, isn't that what it is all about?
Dundee Utd at Tynecastle an Saturday and the spark was definitely back, we were brilliant, especially in the first half. Can't really tell how much of this walk over was down to Utd being pitifull but in any case 3 - 0 going on 8. Hearts played some really good stuff, looked solid had all the hunger you could wish for and seemed to have settled since the departure of Burley a fortnight earlier and the disaster down scumbag land. The crowd were well up for it too, i guess the first goal within 5 minutes helped so all in all it was a great day.
One funny worth a mention - Andy Walker wee shite, ex Celtic winger. Made the mistake earlier in the season of writing Hearts off as a bubble waiting to burst. 2nd mistake he made was to turn up at Tynecastle in the press box on Saturday - The game was won and the Tynecastle faithfull spent every minute of the last 30, all 17,000 bellowing.......... Andy Walker yer a w*nker yer a w*nker. The crowd would time it for when Hearts had a free kick on the edge of the box or a corner so it couldn't be avoided from the telly coverage of highlights. Fantastic, i thought it was hillarious.

So to other matters, you have probably heard !!
Phil Anderton, chief executive was sacked the Monday after the Hibs game!
Chairman George Foulkes was not even given the privilage of resigning and was voted off the board minutes later as he disagreed with the Anderton sacking.
Vladimir's son Roman Romanov took over as both chairman and chief executive in the interim whilst some other lambs to the slaughter are hoodwinked in to a temporary visit to the devine comedy that is Heart of Midlothian football club.
The club has ofcourse been once again thrown into dissarray and is fast becoming a laughing stock.
During last week the search for a new manager or chief coach or whatever we call him has gone on with some really big names being named and some hasbeens throwing their hats in and it all just sounded like a disaster. One thing is for sure, the Romanov's have no clue whatsoever about scottish media and how to deal with it.

A wee digression that will come back to Hearts.......
Bon fire night after the Dundee Utd game, we went down to Portobello beach met up with a few people we know and had a cracking time down there. Nothing organised but there is a big community thing goes on down there. People just turn up on the beach, get a bonfire going, have a few beers and have their own little fireworks display. The guy i was there with had gone to town on the fireworks purchase and bought some absolute crackers. So we had the bonfire the beer and the fireworks and everyone is having a great time then............
right behind us on the promenade, running battles, young guns kicking the living daylights out of each other, think it must have been Joppa young team versus Niddrie violence or something like that. No sooner had the polis tidied that up when..................
The next display along from us started their fireworks. You get these newfangled things these days which is like a big box maybe the size of a crate of beer. It has maybe 30 odd fireworks in it. So what you do is you light the fuse and they all go off in a co-ordinated display, brilliant. These beasties you are meant to bury up to about 3/4 of the way up the box. The one next to us was not buried!
The side blew off the box and the rockets started coming out directly at us !! One landed at a blokes feet and exploded. One guy i was with had brought a (very) new girlfriend. He is obviously super keen cause he immediately threw himself on top of her in chivilrous protection. Shocked she screamed and started punching him - hilarious. Rockets landed under cars and people and all sorts, there was mayhem.
Must go back next year.
So before all that i was talking to a bloke who had been at the game that day and more importantly had been in Diggers beforehand.
In Diggers before the game was Phil Anderton the recently sacked chief executive, he was telling anyone who would listen exactly what has been going on and here it is.................
Burley was sacked for 2 reasons
1) By 3 each day he was on the sauce, bottle of whisky in the top drawer kind of thing.
2) He refused to explain to Romanov why the right hand side of the team was not performing as well as the left. There are 2 Lithuanians who play right midfield and neither was getting a game and it is true that the right hand side is not as good as the left. Burley was right to drop both tho, they had very bad starts to the season and neither looked good enough - maybe that is all he had to say, i dunno.
One of them Mikoliunas played on saturday and he was back to his best, so maybe Romanov had a point.
Anderton was sacked for 2 reasons
1) He refused to sign a written statement to the effect that Burley was sacked because he was drinking on the job.
2) He overspent his budget. Anderton confessed that he knew it was coming and had been looking for another gig.
Anderton also stated that the Romanov's are serious, will invest cash in January when the transfer window opens and will definitely go for the league and a big euro campaign etc etc etc In 5 years Hearts will be a much bigger club 25,000 seater stadium filled every week blah blah blah.

And so to the biggest joke of the whole lot although i have to say i am not laughing at all.
The new coach although what he is responsible for we can't quite work out is Graham Rix, ex Arsenal centre half.
He apparently coached quite successfully under Claudio Ranieri at Chelsea for a while but his managerial experience is very limited and poor to say the least. Out of all the names mentioned for this post it is ironic that we end up with someone with less of a pedigree than John Robertson who Romanov sacked to start this whole fair ride. More tho the man has been in jail for sex offences, underage shennanigans not the really nasty stuff if there is such a distinction. Just straightforward getting it on with his mates 15 year old daughter. Sure there can be a lot of stuff going on at that age but for christ sake he was in his 40s at the time the f'n idiot. In my state of father of 14 year old daughter i have a zero tolerance approach to such matters. Enough of that tho he has done his time and we are supposed wipe the slate and judge him on results etc etc etc But can you imagine the abuse he is going to get, i give him until the first visit to Easter Road, Ibrox or Parkhead or the first time someone plays 'lock up your daughters' as the teams come out. If things don't go well i can see the Hearts support turning savagely on him as well, they are already totally pissed of with this. A director of football will also be signed within a couple of weeks, there is a lot of pressure for this one to be a good solid forward looking and high profile appointment. We will see, what money on Sporting Director G Glitter and Jonathon King for Chief Executive.


good grief
D

Hibs and Keegan

Originally sent on 31st october, devastated after the defeat to Hibs, Hearts first league defeat of the season. Managerless the cracks are opening all over the place. Rumours abound including the new manager will be Kevin Keegan.

It's a disaster, not any of it other than ..... that wee pr*ck Keegan, the terraces will empty quicker than ? bloody hell i don't know just really quickly.

You beat me to it this week - the Leafs game sounds like a hounding, how the hell do we let ourselves fall into these traps.

What is the name of that thing, you know it starts with lightning pace, it's exhilirating an unstoppable ride, quickening pace with every turn and every loop. You realise tho that it is not like the others, the others are all screaming speed so fast you have no idea where you are you just tear through the atmosphere at a million miles an hour. No, you realise this one is different, different because it, like the old stand at Tynecastle is made of 130 year old weather beaten wood, ready to splinter into a billion shards of petrified timber. The Wild Beast thats what it is called, and that is what i am on and i want off before this bloody season de-rails and i am sent spinning to sporting oblivion.
Shit this is shit.

For sure we can come back from this - we are better than Hibs, at the moment Celtic are looking a pretty good bet but in truth they are not so great. It is all down to the manager we end up with - Keegan would be a bloody disaster, i don't know how much you have kept apace with his managerial career but he is famous for three things
1) The manager who threw away a 15 point lead with 10 games to go ( Newcastle )
2) The manager who walked away from the England job claiming "I am not good enough for this"
3) Just being crap.

I won't go into the gory details, we made an arse of ourselves on many counts on Saturday
Chairman and ex politician George Foulkes was reported to have said last Friday "The league is now a 2 horse race" With this he wrote off Rangers ( fair enough ) but he also wrote of Hibs who if they were to beat us would be a mear 4 points behind us. Just plain stupid thing to say in my book.
Jankauskas, centre forward ex Porto player was reported to have belittled the white hot atmosphere of an Edinburgh Derby by claiming that it was the friendly Derby and nothing like as crazy as a Porto v Benfica game. He said "when Porto play Benfica, it is not so friendly, on the terraces you can see the people fighting, you can see the blood flowing and you can see the cars burning" This was the self same Jankauskus who lost the plot in the mellee at Easter Road and got himself sent off the f'n plaamph.
Apparently we just didn't turn up!
As far as i am concerned, all bets are off and this is day one, the season starts here and now and thats how we have to view it. Dundee Utd next Saturday, we take them and we give them a hiding and then we get on with it and the next time Hibs come calling we kick their skinny green arses. Right course i am right.

Been taking the boys to the skate board park lately Jason went flying yesterday flipped horizontal 4 feet up and then crashed into the unforgiving concrete - i am still hurting more than him tho.

Hope all in the non sporting world is well.

Do not cancel those flight plans just yet, there will be a title decider at Tynecastle against Celtic next May ( well maybe ) and there is a seat in the Gorgie stand with your name on it.


D

Midweek games

Originally sent on 27th October


We shall not, we shall not be moved, not by the Hibs the Celtic or the blah blah blah.

A serene balmy night in the west of Edinburgh belied this years advancing age and saw the first mid week league encounter of this already remarkable season.
Kilmarnock visit the league leaders. League leaders who find themselves 3 points clear and unbeaten having played all comers one time round. League leaders who also who find themselves managerless ( nuff said about that debacle ), Captainless as Steven Pressley was sent off on Saturday and more missing midfield talisman Paul Hartley ( pulled a hamstring on the hour mark on saturday but like an eejit he kept struggling on til 5 minutes to go. You would hope that a decent manager would have had him hooked immediately to protect the hamstring?? ) .

For all the influx of foreign quality, the spine of this Hearts team remains fundementally Scottish. Indeed it is the self same spine as that of the resurgent Scotland team. To help a wee bit with the starting line up you are having so much trouble with - here is that Scottish spine


Craig Gordon

Steven Pressley Andy webster

Paul Hartley

Hartley is one of those energetic box to box midfielders that can ( and does ) drive the pace of the game, so when Hearts are clocking a rate of naughts as they put team after team to the sword it is in large part Hartley setting the pace.

So with three of the most important aspects of the team gone for the night at least it was with a fair degree of trepidation that i and Claire ventured along to the game.
Without really causing too much of a stir Kilmarnock are mid table+, would probably be flirting with a challenge for a euro spot if it were not for Hearts and Hibs fantastic starts to the season. This looks more and more like a 4 horse race or 3 if you accept how shite Rangers are ( more on that later).
So taking Killie on under the current circumstances was no mean feet, Celtic had gone to Ayrshire at the weekend and sneaked away with a 1 - 0 win to keep within 3 points of us.
The game starts and i am immediately bemused that we have not only had to soak up the losses to key personnel but the interim manager has decided to tinker with the positions of those that remain???
Rudi Skacel - 9 goals in 11 games normally ploughs a very rich furrow up the left channel, is playing straight through the middle just behind the front two.
We are understandably not looking our usual selves, disjointed and lacking in confidence and focus on what we are about. At the back Pressley's replacement, young Cristophe Berra ( Scottish weirdly ) is just not the same imposing centre half that we are used to and this permeates right through the back 4. Lucky Craig Gordon does not notice and pulls off a couple of good saves in the opening minutes.
gradually Hearts begin to take control of the game and we start to cause some difficulties in the Killie third.
As the half rolls on Hearts are more and more on top and .......... For the first time Rudi Skacel finds himself out on the left wing where he should be - one touch and a magnificent early cross to the back post sees Jankauskas collect unburdened by any of those pesky defenders, he slots the ball home.
Hearts 1
Kilmarnock 0
That really was the single piece of true quality in the game.
If i had not been so shocked at the weekend i would have described to you the 'almost goal of the season' there was a move that failed only in the final ball not being quite strong enough for Pospicil to pick up on the penalty spot. But oh my god it was breath taking.
It was basically 4 players playing a series of triangles up the left flank from one box to the other, but what made it so good.........
I swear
each pass was played one touch and inch perfect,
the ball never touched the ground or rose higher than 2 feet off the ground,
each pass was played at a frightening speed ( i mean ferrocious ),
not a single Dunfermline player moved a single inch whilst this whirlwind danced around them.
If Pospicil had got to it and crashed it into the roof of the net i would have gone home there and then having just witnessed football perfection!

So half time came and the second 45 started much like the first had ended, but gradually Killie began to take control. They had adopted that fair old tactic of turning the game into a midfield scrap. Hearts can look after themselves there is no doubt about that, but with the reduced firepower in the middle of the park we were allways going to struggle to stay in control of a battle.
It was good tho i enjoyed it, it was tense and the ref was making obvious mistakes and the crowd were getting upset and all that stuff that makes a game worth watching. Much better than the tepid destruction of Dunfermline at the weekend, thats for sure.

So to Easter Road on Saturday. There is a fair shout that Sir Bobby Robson ( ex Ipswich, Barcelona, England, Newcastle manager ) will be the new Hearts boss by the weekend. He was more or less offered the job in the summer pre George Burley but for one reason or another turned it down. He has expressed an interest this time round tho? My instincts tell me that this is a mistake, not for any other reason than he is 72 years old. I have listened to him a lot on the box over the years and he is probably the best talker of a game of football i have heard. I guess he may work out as a kind of director of football cum father figure to steady the ship and instill a sense of focus and direction but we would sure need a good solid coach in there as well. The return of Robbo perhaps? stranger things have happened at sea christ stranger things have happened at Tyney lately. Robbo walked out on his managerial post at Ross County last week also?? All this is pure speculation you understand and we could just as easily have Lothar Matheus instilled as head coach tomorrow.
Hibs are a good team i have mentioned before, but i think Hearts are just that bit stronger so i expect us to pull it off, but we must be aware if they get their noses in front they are the best team in the league at catching you on the break. Ofcourse they would delight in causing our first defeat. I argued the toss about the game being a must win for Hearts with a few bods in the work today, but they don't understand they are auld firm supporters after all and see the world through 30 odd championships each.

Celtic ominously won 5 - 0 against Motherwell, to keep the deficit to 3
Hibs beat Dunfermline away 2 - 1 to keep them within touching distance of 7 ( makes saturday a real 6 pointer as they say )
Rangers were 2 - 0 up against the woefull bottom side Livingston and managed to throw it away for a 2 - 2 draw. They slip back to 11 points behind Hearts. They are shite and they know they are.


A parting thought - the world has saw fit to raise the curse of the babe from the Boston Red Sox and if i am not mistaken have or are about to relieve the Chicago 'black' sox of their infamy with a world series win. Is it time that the world has chosen to slip it's axis in favour of Gorgie Road?

Get up at 10 on saturday morning and log on to http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/sportscotland/sportsound/ for full live commentary of the game and start praying.
The demand for tickets has meant Hearts are putting giant screens up at Tynecastle and are piping the game there directly, tenner a shot. I might have considered it if i had got in on my season ticket but - bugger that for a game of soldiers.

keep the faith
D

Rollercoaster ride !!

Originally sent on October 22nd, after what may be the most pivotal day of the whole season. The day George Burley left!

Good god almighty when will this end!!

Top of the league in credible fashion for the first time in years, more excitement at Tynecastle than i in any case, have ever seen.
At 1pm today, the f'n manager walks, or is he pushed - nope the press release at 6 today states it was by mutual consent due to irreconcillable differences.
This translates to one of the following 2 statements -
1, George Burley, principalled football manager has resigned due to the oppressive influence of the club owner Vladimir Romanov. Vlad brings in players and forces Burley to play them, Burley is undermined and has no option but to quit.
2, George Burley unprincipalled git is approached by Rangers to replace Alex McLeish and Vlad moves quickly to clear things up.

Time will tell.

It was a weird atmoshpere at Tynecastle today, the crowd had no idea whether to vent vitriol at the board or to villify the ex manager.
Dunfermline turned up, well short of the class required to do anything against Hearts and were dispatched 2 - 0 without Hearts breaking much sweat at all. Captain Steven Pressley was sent off with 5 minutes to go for allowing a Dunfermline striker to get the better off him, and was forced to bring him down - last man immediate sending off. The first sign of the unravelling?
So we don't go down with the crashing off our bubble, instead we self destruct, implode - Black Hole?

Doom mongering - the team are still there and we could have another manager, higher profile etc etc etc by the Hibs game next week.

I am in shock at the moment and can't quite manage much more.

D

NOT BY THE HIBS, THE CELTIC OR THE RA-ANGERS

Originally sent on 19th October

WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED !!

Ok lets get this into some kind of perspective, thats 2 points from the last six - just not championship form and would be viewed as a slump, verging on a crisis if it had happened to either of the gruesome twosome ( wait a minute it has happened to both of them, crisis all round then ). I felt sure we could muster 4 out of 6 but we have to settle for 2 and if you read last times match report it was an excellent point we managed to muster at Falkirk.

This one tho was the real deal, all questions were answered on saturday.
The phone in's were jam packed with happy Jambo's and frustrated Tims - it is a measure of their begrudged and never utterred respect or is that fear, that so many of these blinkered fools from the west called in to spit their venom across the airways.

Hearts my arse, it was a steal, they are shite and as soon as a couple of injuries kick in they will slope back down to where they belong.
Let's face it they were never in the tic's half in the 2nd half, it was only that orange git of a ref that kept them in it!
We should have had a penalty, naw 2!!
Sellik ya bass...............grunt!

These are just a few of the misguided dialogues from the mass of green and white prol that spend their saturday afternoons phoning James Trainer on radio Scotland.

So here is the truth behind the myth.
A short match report, leaving plenty of room for the summary.
Celtic's biggest crowd of the season and they were up for this big time. All pundits claiming that the atmosphere was 'just like an auld firm game'.
Kick off and for the first 15 minutes Celtic can't get out of their own half. This is now familiar Hearts have the capacity to completely dominate a midfield - there is no team in the league that can live with them. It is not so much a tidal wave of energy more an expression of superior quality - like when you see Scotland playing Holland and just not getting near them ( well nearly ).
In this time Hearts miss a half decent shot and a sitter of a header from 4 yards out.
Completely against the run of play Celtic score with a deflected effort from 12 yards out, in truth this was a pretty well taken goal.
Hearts were without suspended keeper Craig Gordon, sent off in that Falkirk game a couple of weeks back, you just wonder if he would have got to it to turn it round the post.
Within 10 seconds the pundits are gearing up for their " thats it then the Tynecastle bubble has burst - we never thought they were that great anyway, the natural order of things is now re-balanced and the MIGHTY Celtic will now go on take their place at the summit of the table". They actually started to talk in these terms, i can't believe those f*%£ers.
Hearts are unfazed, it's early in the game so plenty of time, but many a Hearts team has crumbled at this point. Celtic almost go 2 up within a minute before a mix up between their keeper and centre half allows in, who else but RUUUUDI SKAAACEL, he steals from the keeper falls, gets up and lashes the ball into the empty net. 1 - 1.
I don't know what else i can say about this game other than it was toe to toe, end to end, chance to chance about as even as they come and that is exactly the point. I keep harping on about it - against the old firm you either play out of your skin or you get beat unless you are Hearts where you just play your game.
Celtic had the majority of possession in the second half but they didn't create anymore than Hearts did and the game could easily have gone either way. It didn't, Hearts remain 3 points clear, Rangers failed to capitalise on the draw at Parkhead by drawing themselves at Tannadice. Hibs however came from 2 down to beat Kilmarnock 4 - 2 at Easter Rd to make back a couple of points. Hibs are probably the best football team in the league, lots of young guys and play an exciting open passing game, with lots of threat up front. I think they are much better than Rangers, but may not be strong enough for the long haul.
Next we have Dunfermline on Saturday and Kilmarnock next Wednesday, both at Tynecastle and both must win games. It has been a tough couple of weeks tho and although it feels like there has been a mini break with the International games, out of all the Scottish teams Hearts had the most on international duty, 8 of the first team.
So we beat Dunfermline and Kilmarnock and are at least 3 points clear when.............................
We go to Easter Road a week on Saturday, it is just relentless!!!
Here is my parting thought at this stage. That game, Hibs.
Normality dictates that a win against Hibs is fantastic, a draw in Leith is acceptable. Not this time, this is a must win game. The mind set of league winners must see that as a win or bust game. Both the old firm only see a draw as acceptable on the others ground and that is what wins them the titles they win. So make no mistake the game at Easter Road must be won and it will be.

Wheels OFF ??

Originally sent on 3rd October

Not quite, not quite at all.
What a game that was, one of the most exciting, nailbiting, rollercoasters of a mad 90 minutes. Concluded with a mighty, mighty 10 man, 2 goal come back by the Jambo's.
This game was not quite written off by the pundits but as near as damn it it was. I was not so confident, the lack of Roman Bednar up front and Takiss Fyassas at left back gave the first real test of the depth of this Hearts squad and i had a wee fear that it would come up wanting. George Burley chose to bring in Michael Pospisil up front in place of Bednar ( too many of these guys! can't remember where he is from or just how high a quality his pedigree is - doubtless he plays for whatever country he hailes fae ). The only thing i have seen as yet from Pospisil is a decent 20 mins and a well taken goal against Aberdeen back in August. He has carried a thigh strain since he got here and it proved, he was brought back in too early this weekend. Pospisil was never really in the game at all during a dominant first 20 minutes for Hearts, away to Falkirk - premier league new comers who have taken points off Hibs and Rangers this campaign. Hearts did not score during this period of dominance but like time and the tides the goal was coming - irrepressible and overwhelming, the Falkirk defence was being run pretty much into the ground and i could tell would capitulate any moment now, i said now, score now!............
The script was well and truly ripped up and caste fluttering across the faces of the Tynecastle faithfull.
There is this wee ex Hibee guy called Russell Latapy don't know if you have heard of him or not, he is famous for being instrumental in a 6 - 2 demolition of hearts at Easter Rd a few years back, a game which hearts were the better team and 2 - 1 up at half time as well. That game bought him a 2 year deal at Ibrox. Anyroads he is a wee genius of a Trinidadian midfielder who for some reason has saw fit to ply his trade in the backwaters of the Scottish Premier league - bizarre. He is now the midfield genital ( sorry general ) for Falkirk - for once Falkirk manage to clear their lines and the ball falls to Latapy who dispatches an inch perfect forty yard pass to their sole striker, he is bearing down on Craig Gordon, rounds him and is brought down - Penalty - stone wall, last man so keeper sent off - stone wall.
Falkirk 1 Hearts 0
Hearts keeper Craig Gordon sent off.
Replacement keeper Steve Banks comes on for Michael Pospisil, who is useless anyroads.
Hearts move to a 4-4-1.
This game is lost Falkirk are all over us and we have no outlet, wave after wave after wave of Falkirk attacks strike deep into the hearts defence. Somehow we survive til half time with no other disaster than losing Brellier ( French midfielder ) to injury.
It is all looking like the wheels have well and truly come off the wagon and i have resigned myself to a defeat, just hoping Hearts manage to keep it down to 2 or 3.
Half time comes and goes and so do theories as it happens.
The second half starts and for all the world you would think it was Falkirk who were a man short. This game has turned totally on it's head again and Hearts are once again totally dominant, maybe we don't quite seem like we are about to unleash the full weight of a six goal drubbing but Hearts are well on top, using their lack of manpower to full advantage - bizarre. I don't know what Burley said to the boys at half time but i think he might have a wee bit of magic up his sleeve or speed in his pocket?
Hearts are pressing once again and there is only one team who can score and after that there will be only one winner in this game so nows the time hearts, score now, i said score, score now!.............................
A punt up the park, under no real pressure at all Pressley attemts to head back to the keeper, woefully short, the race is on. Pressley bears down on the ball, Falkirks Darryl Duffy races forward and Steve Banks runs out - Banks just manages to get there first and melts the ball. He melts the ball straight off Pressley and it rebounds into the net.
F'n disaster, Heart are sunk by cruel, cruel twists of fate.
Falkirk 2 Hearts 0 ( Pressley own goal )
You would think with 20 minutes to go and 2 down and down to 10 men that a team would drop a head or two ( the self same sycophantic punditry that had Falkirk written off before this game are now gleefully scouring the foreign contingent of the Hearts team, looking for a dropped chin or a sloped shoulder - evidence of defeat in the eyes. Like a Scottish player could never get disheartened, that malady only happens to a foriegners - and we think the English commentators are self centered biased idiots ( they are ofcourse )).
There are no dropped heads or sloped shoulders, there is only steel and determination and the sound of caution vacating the premises.
Hearts proceed to disperse with that pesky defence and go 4-4-1 ( just that all 9 are in the Falkirk half ).
With 15 minutes to go Pressley does the captains job and throws a foot out at the back post to bring a chink of light back into the day, stumbling the ball over the line. With 5 minutes to go Pressley seals an active day at the office and his hero status by scoring the equalizer ( no idea what this goal was like i was too busy punching the ceiling ).
Falkirk 2 Hearts 2
Pressley scores a hat-trick.

So this game needs a bit of a summary and some context -
We will have to read this as a point gained against adverse circumstances that we should really only see once or twice a season, so if we are there to do some counting at the end of the season and a point is enough then we can definitely say that this was the point that done it.
Nothing will ever be the same again this season, we are no longer perfect. There is a slight tarnish on the team and the air of unreality has dissipated, that is probably a good thing. I guess we can now just get down to winning as many points as we can manage and see where it takes us.
There is pending storm tho, like one of those thunder storms rumbling north of Toronto in the summer - In complete contrast to the opera that has been Hearts season to date - without anyone batting an eyelid, no fuss no real press coverage Celtic are now just 3 points behind Hearts and we go to Parkhead next! Next weekend is Scotland double header, then it is off to Celtic Park for the next big battle of the season - obviously we need to come away from there with at least a point to keep things going. We shall see, they are by no means unbeatable.
We shall see.

NOT BY THE HIBS, THE CELTIC OR THE RA-ANGERS

Originally sent on 24th September, after gubbing the poorest Rangers team i have ever seen - even worse than the mid eighties
WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED !!

2 trillion decibels rang out at Tynecastle today, in a ( get this ) ten minute standing ovation at the end of the victory.
Once again i wish you could see this, it is a fantastic atmosphere and some pretty good football as well. The only problem is the belief factor which is growing exponentially with every victory. They are selling T-shirts in Gorgie sports shops with the logo

2005 2006
BELIEVE

Sure we all need to believe we can keep this going, it's just the fall should/when it happen/s will be catastrophic if this carries on much more, the Tynecastle faithfull are just so high and they believe for sure they believe. This is now the best start to a season for 91 years and two more victories will make it our best ever!

During the week Hearts received their first wake up call, a 1-0 defeat in the diddy cup to Livingston, we played half a team and never got going. I guess i would say that, if not playing the next 3 games in the league cup means we stay in contention for the league for 3 more weeks then i will take that.

So to the white hot cauldron of Rangers at Tynecastle today, the teams were greeted onto a perfect pitch by an enormous cheer, a battery of fire works and pyrotechnics thrust skyward from the centre circle and the sound system battering out the Hearts song. Remember the old days when some bloke would mutter some incomprehensible nonsense over a crackly old tannoy. I never did know what that was all about, i have discovered - he reads out the teamsheet? Hearts and scottish football have come a long way in the last decade or so, it's mad but i think i would still give it all up to stand uncovered behind the goals on a rain soaked February.
The game kicks off and immediately the confidence running through the Hearts team is evident, you know about this, there is allways something in the back of your head when you play either side of the gruesome twosome, you almost know that things will conspire against you.The ref will give them a dodgy penalty or Ally Mcmoist will pop up in the last minute to steal your hard fought victory. Or they might just sweep you aside with a 4 - 0 gubbing, you just know that something bad is going to happen you just don't know when. Well NO i tell thee, this Hearts team have no fear of this Rangers team, they have no underlying lack of confidence constricting their football. This team think, no they know that they are better than this Rangers team and it shows.
The first ten minutes are a bit scrappy, probing, nobody on top, the ref is already annoying me as he is blowing for just about everything. Without warning Hearts suddenly find a couple of passes, a gear or two that Rangers don't have in their make up and we force them hard back into their own third. Here comes another reference to the old days, playing Rangers we could allways do this at times during a game but it would be by playing out of our skins, somehow finding football from somewhere that against other teams we just can't tap. The fabled 'raising your game'. Thats the point, we didn't raise our game, thats why we should and most inside Tynecastle do, believe. We just played our regular football.
Most of the time when we play our game it is some combination of Rudi Skacel and someone else, today it was Skacel and Roman Bednar ( more about him later ). Rudi rips the Rangers right back to shreds on numerous occassions, you could see him looking at his bench like he was a fighter desperate for his trainer to throw in the towel. A few corners are forced and the third one is zipped over by Paul Hartley - Roman Bednar loses his marker and meets it ten yards out, the keeper has no chance as he slams his header into the far corner. This is a goal you would have been very proud of. Roman Bednar, Burley suggests is the pick of the crop, 21 year old czech U21 internationalist 6ft 3 and very athletic looking plays his football with both feet. Looking better each week and looks like he could be playing in the latter stages of the champions league in the next few years.
Hearts more or less dominate the next 20 minutes with a couple more chances to stretch their lead. I hear you say, "but Derek what about the chances that Rangers have had, your match report is too biased i am not getting a good enough account of the game, i'll need to buy the Daily Record in the morning to balance things up". Well, they haven't had any yet! and they continue to not have any for the rest of the half. Perhaps just one scrappy cross which wasn't cleared well enough and Craig Gordon had to turn round the post. Once again i am never nervous of losing a goal, this is bizarre!
Then!
30 odd minutes in and Bednar is cut down, i think the Rangers player gets the ball first so i am not too bothered but within a minute or two Bednar limps off and away to Hospital for an x-ray and possible cartlidge operation - this is as good a reason as any to NOT believe. Do we have the squad to deal with the old firm hobbling our team to stop us winning the title - i don't know about that? Bednar could be out for 6 weeks or so and we certainly need him up there. Within another 5 minutes Taskis Fyassis our Greek left back ( see earlier reports for my over the top opinions of him ) also leaves the field with a recurrence of a thigh strain. On comes Stephen Simmons and Jamie McAllister and Hearts lose their shape completely and are left to hang on til Half time - For all that Rangers still can't penetrate into Hearts third.
Half time.
Now i was speaking to Claire at half time trying to explain about the expected onslaught at the start of the second half - i am saying "we will have to weather a storm here, maybe try and catch them on the break etc etc etc". Within a couple of minutes of the second half though it is pretty obvious that this Rangers team don't have an onslought to throw at us and we remain comfortable. We are not troubling them either tho, the game is now scrappy again, the ref is blowing for absolutely everything, ruining the game. I am still comfortable. As the game moves on past the hour mark, Rangers are becoming more and more frustrated, ragged and violent, the game starts to lose itself in a mellee of rash challenges. It is pretty obvious that they have realised the only way they can beat us is by dragging the game into a battle. Hearts rise above this by finding a bit of football again and start to hit Rangers on the break at first and then we take control of the game again. Looking the more likely without really troubling the Rangers keeper, Hearts maintain control until that troublesome last 5 minutes when there is the slenderest of leads. With all shape to the game lost and Rangers desperately throwing whatever they have, which is only Dado Prso ( he is a good player ), Hearts are content just to clear their lines.
A very loud shout for a penalty for hand ball, not given with a ruling of 'ball played the man' ( i thought it was a penalty ) and that was it No joy for the blue nosed legions now 11 points behind Hearts and quite possibly out of the championship race. Alex McLeish will be sacked before christmas.

Next up we are away to Falkirk, there is then an international weekend as Scotland attempt valiantly in vain to qualify for next summer's world cup and then we are away to Celtic. So there is an air of realism creeping in here, Hearts unblemished record will not see out October. If we get 4 out of 6 from these two games i will be delighted and we will all still believe.


Wednesday, January 11, 2006

You can smell the history

Originally sent on 18th September

Goooooooooood eeeeeeevening sportsfans, here we go again!

As i have been predicting this season so far - Rangers come to Tynecastle with Hearts still the runaway league leaders with a perfect 21 points from 7 games and the champions trailing by a load of points - 8 to be precise. Lose this one and Rangers are toast ( will Hearts drop 11 points this season, i dunno about that. Will we drop 11 points more than Rangers after a victory next week - no chance! )
Have you ever seen a league table look so good? Didn't think so

The table at the foot of this mail here is just a wee bit behind the times as Celtic have just left Easter Road with a 1 - 0 victory stolen from the young Hibs team.
So Celtic sit on 16 points 5 behind the mighty Jambos.
The pundits are going bananas over here, continually arguing about Hearts pedigree, abilities, potential, staying power etc etc etc in short Can Hearts win the league? In general the answer is No they can't win the league! ( the vast majority of these punters are ex old firm players ofcourse so what would you expect ) but the fact that the question is being asked is what is important. I suspect a number of these punters will change their stance if the Jam Tarts give a weak Rangers side a hounding next week. Already the bookies have cut Hearts from 250 - 1 down to 5 - 1, lowest odds a Hearts team has had of winning the league since March 98!

Rudi Skacel has now scored 7 goals in 7 games this season!!! The last time a Hearts side has won their opening 7 games of a season was the famous 1914 - 15 chamionship winning side that was famously dismantled to allow the entire team to sign up for the 1st world war effort, thereby foregoing the beconing glory. I don't know about you Garry but i don't know too much about all that stuff - the monument at Haymarket and Hearts special relationship with rememberance day etc. Craig Levein as Hearts manager got in to a lot of trouble with the SPL for refusing to play a game on rememberance sunday a couple of years back? As long as this run goes tho the more you can feel the weight of decades of history already pressing heavily, i hope only on us poor supporters and not on the team.

Last week a rudimentary dismantling of Livingston 1 - 4, now looking like a first division side and for sure taking the drop this season. This will unfortunately probably be the end for them. Livi land has just not really taken to having their own team, so the support is just not there and the team has terrible financial problems. The game at livingstons stadium last week had 6,200 Hearts supporters and about 1,500 Livingston. What now for what used to MeadowBank Thistle, a return to the old Commonwealth stadium and their 2,000 diehards in Edinburgh well who cares! This is about Hearts, nothing else matters.
We were camping down in a rain soaked Peebles yesterday as i listened to the game up at Inverness.
The puntidry before hand had already dismissed this game as a contest and concentrated on Hearts potential as champions, as i said earlier most pundits thought no but then when pressed to see who they would have in the Hearts team from either of the old firm, we still ended up with 7 Hearts players 2 Celtic and 2 Rangers, interesting indeed.
Dismissing the game was a mistake. This was allways a potential banana skin!
Hearts got off to a blistering start showing the kind of steamrollering we have become accustomed to ( and what we are all desperate to see next week against Rangers. Rangers will play 5 in midfield and 1 up bet ya ) Inverness could not live with Hearts for the opening 20 minutes or so but eventually they hauled themselves into the game, brought Hearts down to their level and the game became really scrappy, it was wet and windy and easily the biggest test yet of this Hearts campaign. Neither team looked like doing anything but the most important thing for me was - once again, even with the radio, which normally makes a square ball across the half way line sound like a ferocious shot skiffing the bar, I never once felt in the least bit nervous of us losing a goal never mind the game. Singing "our defence is as strong as the old castle rock...... H E A R T S".
Always in control Hearts continued to press gaining a number of corners towards the end of the first half, one was not cleared well and so fell to Skacel who took a touch then dispatched a clinical finish, par for the course for the lad. That was about the last possitive contribution he made tho as this one definitely goes into the category of "the mark of a championship team is one that can grind out a victory when they are not playing well". That statement is all good and well but it is too early in the season to be using it for me!

So the 100% record is still there and Rangers come calling next week, watch this space. Rangers are also deep in the throws of their champions league exploits which is all the better for us, they have a game before and after the lunchtime game next Saturday. It is me and Claire this time and time for me to witness first hand a win against Rangers since the cup final in 98 and for Claire the first time ever!
Another Tynecastle party? i think so...............

How has your team be doing, must be close to that end of season shindig you have up in Ottowa ( is it ? ). Wish i was over there now! I (just) seem to have just recovered from those knocks, strains and niggles i had when i was over and am finally enjoying my football again.
How is the rest of the crew?

Tynecastles in the Sky

Originally sent on 28th August after a 2 - 1 defeat of Motherwell


Right, i have decided - whilst this unbeaten run continues i will send a match report after each victory ( lets hope i am still sending you e-mails deep in to the winter and beyond ).
So here is this one

Hearts 2
Motherwell 1 ( pen )

So someone has scored against the mighty Jambo's, it was a soft penalty ofcourse. There were ten minutes left and Hearts were cruising at 2 - 0. The game should have / could have been buried long before this with Hearts front line squandering a barrow load of chances.
As it ended up Hearts hung on at the end and it was only a fantastic save from Craig Gordan ( Scotland's #1 ) with the last action of the game, that allowed us to take all 3 points.
It doesn't take long, teams watch and see and gain respect and fear, Motherwell had done their homework -
They doubled up on Rudi Skacell - ( 21 year old czech internationalist on loan for the season from Marseille ). The more i see this guy the more i think it is him that is making the team tick. He plays on the left of midfield in front of Takiss Fyassas ( 32 year old stallwart left back for Greece, played in all games during their glorious Euro championship last year - This guy is pure quality, not the fastest any more but i have never seen a left back for Hearts look so much like a midfielder for Ajax ).
Motherwell played with that 'first to every ball' attitude that we love so much in dreich January derbies. If they didn't get to the ball first then they took the man second.
So in short it was tough to make headway, in the first 40 minutes or so - until. Motherwell make the mistake of trying to score - would you believe it - they tried to score against Hearts, at Tynecastle no less. They failed ofcourse and a slick counter involving 3 players, 3 single touches, 3 passes along the carpet and Rudi Skacell is bearing down on goal to slam the ball under the keeper 1 - 0
A couple more chances before half time go a begging but the most notable point is - Rudi gets injured!!! Good god no, the stretcher comes on and he gets strapped in. A collective breath hold. The moment the stretcher is off the pitch tho Rudi jumps of the stretcher and limbers up a bit ( he comes back out of the tunnel at the start of the 2nd half ) The collective breathe again, this is not easy, have you ever tried holding your breath for the whole of a half time, our faces were the same colour as our shirts.
Hearts dominate the next half hour with what must be 70% possession, we must have created a half dozen chances without success until a storming run down the left by Hartley a cut back to the near post. Jankauskus ( 6ft3 centre forward ex Porto, champions league winners medal in his back pocket ) collects the ball 6 yards out, two claret defenders around him. I don't know how he done it! he rolled the ball forward stepped over it and slammed the ball into the top of the net 2 - 0 and the party starts again.
That should have been it but Hearts went to sleep a bit and allowed Motherwell, still working hard, back into the game. ( The first game of the season they played Celtic and from 2 - 0 nil down went into a 4 - 2 lead, in the end it was 4 - 4 but still 2 - 0 down with 10 minutes left is not an unnassailable deficit for the steel men).
They got their penalty and could have sneaked a draw.
This i think is more like reality for this season, the weather was a bit nastier than it has been - windy and bits of rain here and there. Hearts at Tynecastle are faced with grinding out results against well organised, tough opposition playing for the draw from the off.

Meanwhile Hibs get a stunning 3 - 0 smash and grab victory at Ibrox - Hearts are now 6 points ahead of Rangers and 8 points ahead of Celtic ( play later today ), 5 ahead of Hibs and Kilmarnock. It is all very interesting. Two away games now - Livingston we should win by a mile and Inverness - much tougher but still think we can come away with the points.
So 7 games and 21 points in the bag when Rangers come to Tynecastle in a month?
If this carries on into a real challenge my nerves will be toast.

Aberdeen are rubbish


Originally sent on 21st August

Hey,

What on earth is going on here!There is an air of unreality about all this stuff.
Another weekend and another saturday down at tynecastle, this time it was me and Nathan and Aberdeen to take the sword.
I wish you could see this, Tynecastle has just never been like this before. The weather has been brilliant, the stadium is full to bursting capacity and we keep beating everyone, christ naebody can even score against us. We lost two goals on the opening day away to Kilmarnock and have never looked like losing a goal since. The place is absolutely jumping.
In all the painfull years of watching Hearts, two seasons stand out over and above the rest.
The haunting 85 - 86 season for it's train wreck of a conclusion but also because, we were the best team by a mile.
Then there was 97 - 98 season ( the last time i had a season ticket spookily enough ), we all remember as the year we finally got our hands on that cup we are supposed to win every decade or something like that. But we should also remember that we did flirt with the title that year also. We were nip and tuck with Celtic and Rangers until just 4 or 5 games out when a draw at home to Motherwell signalled the end of our title aspirations and allowed us to concentrate on the cup final a few weeks down the line. We finished a fair way back in third but much much closer than anyone has been since.
In both those years we played well above ourselves, fought and scrapped and punched two weights above and got caught up in the momentum, the famous Jambos Juggernaught. Both ultimately ran out of steam and such were the efforts in vain, it took a good 3 or 4 seasons to recover from the burn out.
It is ofcourse far far far too early to even dare to dream, but i have to say there is something fundementally different this time round. This Hearts team is just much better than the rest of the durge. Save the auld firm ofcourse, we play Rangers at Tynecastle on the last weekend in September - the first of the acid tests! So all the old stuff about momentum and grit , determination etc etc etc is still needed but is not the only ingredient we have in the pot. I am ranting away here and could be seen to be very silly in as little as a few weeks. Get this tho, looking at the fixtures it is not at all unrealistic for Rangers to come to Tynecastle, at the end of September, in 2nd place and 5 ( or even 7 ) points behind a Hearts team who have a 100% league record. And if we beat them......................... the drums will really start to beat.

Cabbage bashing

Originally sent on Aug 8th after Hearts beat Hibs 4 - 0 at Tynecastle. The game that started all this excitement.


Hi guys,

How are you all?
Have you been camping again yet? We are off to GlenNevis on Friday for the weekend, the big campsite at the foot of the ben.
I pitched the tent in the garden yesterday, the first time it had come out of it's bag since we left for Montreal - get this! there were hundreds beasties ALIVE!! LIVING!!! it tell you. And very obviously Canadian beasties at that, i was half expecting a racoon stowed away to creep out of the back end of the tent.

So it has been hard coming down from the Canadian adventure, i think we are just about back to usual. I am very guilty of getting well ahead of myself, a bit over excited even but the talk has been very exciting and i just couldn't help myself. I think it was therapy for being back over here with no hols to look forward to. Now you might say - how the hell can a season ticket for Tynecastle be therapy surely it shows masochism coupled with complete memory loss.
Like i say tho the talk has been all good whilst we were in Canada and things were looking even better when we came back, a number of signings in the bag and more to come - all continentals mind you but all seemed to be internationals of one flavour or another - christ we even bought a striker who won a champions league medal with Porto last year. So i got two seats right behind the goals at the Gorgie stand and 3/4 of the way up, a really good view in anybodies book.
Things are so excitable down Tyney way that they even failed to post half the season tickets out on time and i had to go down to the ticket office myself on Friday to pick up the books.
Which brings me to the first game at Tynecastle of the new season,
Previously we had merited a creditable 4 - 2 victory away to Kilmarnock to kick the season off. So came the game at Tynecastle against the auld foe, the losers fay leith the portobelly pish and on and on and on.
Hibs had been well worth their third place last season easily out playing just about everyone and had managed to hold onto the cream of their rich crop of young Scottish talent O'Connor and Riordan et al. Riordan had not endeared himself any further to the Hearts faithful with some scathing close season comments to the effect that Hearts were crap last season and would be worse this season - he is a scummy wee Hibs ned fanny after all.
So the scene was set, these guys who we hate anyway have usurped our 'best of the rest' tag and stolen our annual euro adventure toboot and to top it all they still think they are better than us. Meanwhile close season the Jambo's have been amassing an outfit which is generating huge excitement throughout the whole of Scottish football.
It has been many a game i have taken Jason to since some ropey 2 - 1 victory against StJohnstone about a hundred years ago. Each of those games has been it's own crushing heartache, mostly European and always painful, it has been at least 4 years since the poor lad has witnessed a goal from the maroon mediocrity. This could be the final straw that sends him away from Hearts and football forever.

four nil we only won four nil, we only won four nil, we only won four nil.

Can't remember such a satisfyingly hilarious scalping of the muppets, and Jason loved it. It must be some right of passage i think - father and son shouting together - cheerio cheerio cheerio to the desperate Hibees as they trundle out the stadium 3 - 0 down and a full 15 minutes to go.
Ever read Fever Pitch? Jason is doubtless now (not that there was ever any doubt really) a nailed to the mast Jambo till he dies! and will spend the rest of his football life, mostly in vain, in search of such heady magic. Oh god what have i done!
Not even going to go into the game too much just - they are crap and we scored four goals and if we had really wanted to we could have scored another four goals.
fantastic

Jason wants to know how the Jays are doing? and Claire says hello gunc.

Look after yourselves folks
D :-))))

This season

This blog is being put together to mark the passing of this most bizarre of seasons at Tynecastle. One that promised, still promises so much and one that has been filled already with huge heartache and frustration.
I have come to this late already half way through season 2005/2006 with Hearts having slipped their halo as best in the land to Celtic a good few weeks ago now.

Since the start of the season - well since we spanked Hibs 4 - 0 anyroads i got a bit excited and started sending garbled match reports to my brother who has lived in Toronto for the last 20 years - the last time he witnessed anything exciting down Tynecastle way was the fated 85/86 season. He is now a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, they seem to be just as frustrating as the jambos.

So i will add each of these match rantings that i sent over as a kind of snapshot of my thoughts at the time, i will add each new one as the season progresses