Winning ugly ?

The debate has trundled on over the past weeks, the relative merits of winning ugly -
Edinburghs two teams provide the polar opposites or so it would seem - Hearts are ugly and Hibs are .. well whats the opposite of ugly - i guess it is pretty, yes Hibs are .. pretty.

If you listen to John Collins in pre or post match interviews for his team he will often come out with phrases like 'doing the right thing' and 'playing the right way'. This is interpreted by most as playing the ball on the deck in an open and expansive style, brimming with pace and vision and not lacking in technique or quality. But does it mean squat when all it gets you is defeat. Listening to Gordon Smith in place of James Trainor yesterday evening brought a number of disgruntled Hibees onto the blower to complain that 'JC needs to learn how to win ugly, cos good football doesn't always cut it'. Is this some heresy from disillussioned Hibee or is there an uprising of pragmatism down Easter Road way? Is it just me or is Gordon Smith covering for James Trainor like watching an episode of The Office - if i could squint my ears whilst i listen i would. Gordon is one of the better pundits on Radio Scotland but sounds as though he would rather be anywhere else than covering for Mr Trainor.

The good , the bad and the ugly - this season Hearts have been all 3 and many times over!
For me though how can yesterdays game at Tynecastle be described as "Hearts winning ugly", since to be ugly you first need to have some discernible features, some identifiable characteristics and for those facets to be in some way unpleasant or obnoxious. But yesterdays match had absolutely no features whatsoever! It was completely devoid of character, visually unpleasant or otherwise. That was "Hearts winning with mousy brown hair, freckles and a twin set n pearls"

Things were a bit different this week, i managed to wangle a trip to the pub before the game, it was like a throw back to some earlier existence, before children! when i could think of no better way to approach a game than to protect myself from the probable horror ahead with a veil of alcohol to drape over my maroon specs. A couple of hours in the Caley Sample Rooms then was the perfect set-me-up for yesterdays game, i didn't know it at the time but i do now.

I normally take notice of the build up to the game but to be honest i can't remember how things were, the ground was full - hows that! I have heard that we have decided to cease with our huddle - did not notice if we huddled or not - but i hope we didn't and i hope we are now rid of it it - it harks back to Pressley and Hartley and a different team no longer relevant.
I normally take notice of the line-ups as they are announced but i missed this one, i was therefore surprised when i couldn't find Zaliukas on the pitch, seemed that Kancelkis had taken his place. Turned out that Zaliukas hurt himself during the warm up to the game.
Shock horror Hearts make only one other change to the team which started against Hibs last week - i would like to know why this is not news, i would like to know when the media are going to start treating this as news! For just about every game this season Hearts have been lambasted, ridiculed, laughed at even, by all comers for our seemingly pathological need to mess with the team so why is it not commented upon when we don't. Larry Kingston came in for Philibaitus, just plain exactly the right thing to do in antibody's book. Karipidis remained at right back ( he had a decent game, probably the best game he has had for Hearts in the strange faceless kind of way that characterised the game he seemed to stroll through the proceedings ) .

At Easter Road last week Hearts turned up with 5 in midfield and no one could argue with it, we will no doubt turn up with the same at Ibrox in a fortnight and no one will argue with that. But to turn up 4 - 5 - 1 at home against Kilmarnock when the only course of action is to turn the heat up and pile as much pressure on Aberdeen as we can, had plenty arguing in my head! There was stranger to come later though.

Both teams matched up and quickly cancelled each other out, there is the school of thought that in our goldfish bowl we know each other too well which leads too often to sterile encounters where the difference between the teams is negligible. I don't really hold to much truck with that but Christ this game was an advert for that theory. I think you could forgive Kilmarnock for entering into the end of season spirit early since they really do now have nothing at all to play for, their cup adventure coming crashing in around their ears a couple of weeks ago against the pretty ones
But Hearts we surely had loads to play for, free from the disaster of finishing below Hibs we could now centre our sights on a clearly standard Aberdeen team who were clearly gaining points at a rate which would render them 3rd if they carried on as they had been going - Have they been winning ugly i wonder? does anyone care? least of all in the Granite City.

Hearts had 3 corners on the bounce midway through the first half which had the feel of a goal about them but it was not to be. Larry Kingston , who is the only football player we have at the moment had a crack at goal but it was never going in and that was about it in the first 45.

I had hoped for more in the second half and i guess it was marginally better but really where was the drive, the enthusiasm for the fight - even the desperation. For all the world it struck me that Hearts played this game like they expected the winning goal was inevitable, which it patently was not. There are those amongst the Hearts support who have developed at best a distrust of our Lithuanian contingent and at worst a racist view that Lithuanians are in themselves substandard and have no place in our team or our country. I believe this is a reaction to the transgressions of our wayward owner. In the Gorgie Stand in that second half Iveskivicious came in for a fair pounding whenever he made a mistake! He did hit the line once though and put over the only ball of quality all afternoon, Velicka's diving header went a couple of feet wide, shame it would have been a good goal.

After an hour or so Hearts made what may well be one of the most perplexing substitutions i have ever witnessed, if i had not been so dazed and confused ( one of those was caused by the alcohol but i am not sure which one ) i may well have just gone home then - Velicka our only striker was taken off for McCann ( a midfielder ) for us to go, wait for it ... 4 - 6 - 0.
We didn't really the much maligned Iveskivicious moved to centre forward, but i mean come on for crying out loud!
In reality it made next to no difference to us, as one striker was just as impotent as the other.
Hearts had managed to moved a bit closer to second gear and were perhaps looking the more likely when Pospisil came on for the dazed and confused ( wonder if he had gone to the Sample Rooms too ) Iveskivicious. A free kick in an awkward position, too central and too deep to really be considered a danger was whipped in to the penalty spot and with the Kilmarnock defence inexplicably posted, well, somewhere else Pospisil was yards unmarked and sent the header goalward, the Killie keeper got a hand to it but not enough and in it went. I half expected the ref to call it back because the Kilmarnock defence were not ready.

Unbelievable.

Kilmarnock upped their gears a little and forced a corner or two, a goal moth scramble was knocked clear as the game drew to a close, not quite over though. A bad foul on the Hearts left touchline brought Goncalves screaming across and steaming in, no real contact i don't think but it did seem to spark the melee that ensued. Goncalves ordered off, don't think he can really have any complaints, maybe if he had waded in from ten yards away he might have got away with it.

Cup next weekend so no Hearts game to think about, just

HOOOO ON THE PARS

Giruy the spoiler

The days running up to this weekends derby against CIS cup winners Hibs was as depressing a week as i can remember as a Jambo. The dysfunction of our team had been laid bare once again and far too often for most of us. The 4 - 0 rout by a very ordinary Dundee Utd team had struck hard at us all and most had succumbed under the weight of evidence - Hearts are awful and resplendent Hibs were going to give us a tanking. The best we could hope for was a bit of a cup hangover for them meaning we could hang on in there and take a less than humiliating defeat.

Every Jambo i knew except me that is, my water was at it again and i fancied we could take them. If you don't believe me read some of the threads in this brilliant now part of jambosforever forum where i have been banging my gums about a Hearts win earlier on in the week.
What did i base this prediction on, the usual mix of garbled psycho babble and half facts that i manage to glean about how the teams are fairing, that i normally base my water works on. It's a finely honed talent. Mostly though it was based on prayer, prayer to the sporting gods. I tried all of them i am not a man of fidelity when it comes to worship of the sports gods. The one that listened though the wee devil that payed attention to my heartfelt requests - Giruy the spoiler

Definition :-
Giruy the spoiler ( pronounced G-i-roo ) - small impish and mischievous sporting god. This is the little devil who in an instant will haul a high flying team screaming back down to earth, just when they started to think they were better than they actually are - a perfect example might be a team that for some ginormous conceit thinks they are the sole purveyors of the beautiful game in their respective league and to whom defeat of, lets say a pub team is an inevitability. Well Giruy is the god that will sort them right out and show them up as incapable of worrying a 'pub team' and therefore actually a bit gash.

It is about bloody time as well seems to me that the wee bugger Giruy has spent most of this season offloading his menace in a Gorgie direction. Not Sunday though his allegiance is fickle but his timing is splendid.
He turned his gaze eastward and saw a team bloated in their own misplaced pride, no more temptation was needed for his mischief to be spun.
In the final analysis with Hibs on a high, Hearts lowdown and broken, the league cup to be paraded after the Derby encounter and Giruy on the side of the good guys .......

It was a nap really that Hearts would prevail and Hibs be left beaten and sick to their pit.

All hail and worship the one great god

GIRUY

I had intended to go to the game even although both times i had been down to Easter Road this season i had sworn never to go back. Meant to go for beers before and after with a friend ( from the dorkside ( misspelled that there obviously meant to say darkside but i quite like it the way it is! ) ) Couldn't make it though as i was booked out with the Mrs for the night - off to the Playhouse to see Kriss Kristoferson.
Stop!
I know!
Last couple of bands i have been to see are Salsa Celtica and WolfMother so i am not a complete wrinkly old country goon.
Salsa Celtica are the business by the way - if you have not been to see them - go - an incredible musical marriage ( in all that that entails, including the frying pan flinging ) between liquid latin salsa rhythms and raucous ceilidh foot stomping! Great night out!
Actually Kriss wasn't so bad, it was a solo acoustic affair so a bit one dimensional i suppose. The grand old lad stood there the entire night like he had been busking there for decades and the good people of Edinburgh had simply built a theatre up and around him. The genes of every busker that has ever busked spliced into one leathery old cowboy. It was warm and comfortable and it sounded like he was in your livingroom so it was hardly surprising that a few of the older dudes stole 40 winks here and there. There were some real mentalists at the gig mind you i swear there were a couple of cowboy hats with mirrored shades on a-hollerin yee-haw !! as each song was recognised.
( maybe they had been at the game and just kept remembering ....... )

The game
Went back to the now Sporting must - Riccarton Arms to watch the game with my kids. I remembered to not stand under the oak beam of last weeks fame - just as well i did or maybe the pub would be refitting it's ceiling today.

The team selection was OK i guess, sensible in that we played 5 in midfield, we were of course there to stop Hibs first and foremost. I make absolutely no apologies for that, apart from being sound tactical sense, every team that turns up at Easter road ( or Tynecastle for that matter ) first has to stop the opposition playing their own game. It is also proven as the best way to get one over on them - remember how Muhamad Ali used to let Joe Fraser punch himself out to the point where he had no idea what to aim his fists at next or had the energy to deliver - well think about it.
Teams have been doing it to Hearts all season with far too much success for my liking, there have been times this year where it felt more like we were Barry McGuigan than smokin Joe up against the irrepressible Ali.
The team not so great in that we had Pilibaitus and Iveskivicius in the midfield, but we did have Brellier for some much needed mettle and protection for Aguair. Driver the only real threat from the middle and Velicka up front. Can't help thinking Velicka got his place for the 2 goals he got down here the last time in the league. The back

I was pleased, very pleased with the start Hearts made, we were positive in the first ten minutes which culminated in a ball dropping over the top to driver on the left, he struck it well but i guess it was always the keepers ball. That's not what i was so pleased about though, what struck me was Hearts had settled into the game immediately. A sure sign of a team who are focused and clear of their objectives. As the first half wore on though Hibs started to control more and more of the midfield and their passing game started to move through the gears. The period between 20 minutes in and 5 minutes to the end of the first half were seminal in the game really, Hibs looked as if they were about to roll over Hearts, a few well placed passes down channels along with overlapping full backs had Hearts pretty much pinned back and happy just to clear their lines. No capitalisation though, the goal did not come and to be perfectly honest i don't think Craig Gordon was ever really worried in that period, Aguair headed off the line after a corner and a minor penalty box scramble landed at Scott Browns feet, best he could do though was scoop the ball straight at Gordon.
By the time the first half came to a conclusion, i was coming to a conclusion - Hibs really didn't know how to go about their job of dismantling and humiliating this bunch of inferiors.
I afforded a relatively nervous smile at half time.
The first half was also notable for a number of fouls and bookings mostly aimed at Hearts players. Zaliukas in particular came in for a lot of media stick for his penalty box antics with Rob Jones. True he indulged in a load of shirt pulling etc but lets face it if you don't stand up and compete with Rob Jones he will kill you stone dead and it did not seem to be much more than you see week in and out all over the country. He came in for a lot of criticism though ( i will take of my 'the world is against us' tee-shirt now, this blog entry is not the place for any of that shenanigans ).
Zaliukas is probably lucky he stayed on the park and thank Giruy he did!

Half Time

Hearts 0
Hibs a bit frustrated


The second half took on the same hue as the first with Hibs holding most of the possession and territory without making any real inroads into the Hearts third. For our part we had the odd foray up the park with generally not enough support to make it count. The game lumbered ever onwards towards the deeply dissatisfying nil-nil. Most Jambos i think would have taken nil-nil before the game had started, so i guess it was all going to plan. Struck me at the mid point of the second half that there was only one winner though and it wasn't going to be green, it was round 8 and Smokin Joe was sweating heavily in the jungle heat!
Had no idea how it would come for us, would never be open play that's for sure, so it was that a cross to the back post was not dealt with by McNeill, it fell to Zaliukas who took his chance brilliantly -
Zaliukas is a centre half mind, and one who had been under the cosh in this game. He slotted it away very well indeed. So to concentrate on the Hibs goal keepers mistake is a bit of an injustice. Besides i suspect Rob Jones got in McNeills way as he flapped at the ball. No faith in his keeper from the Hibs captain and Centre half, surely a sign of turmoil and deep divisions in the Hibs dressing room - i can read the Evening News article now, not that it would ever be written ofcourse.
A bit of bluster from Hibs but not nearly enough as they just simply ran out of the necessary wit, guile, knowledge or anything else needed to claw their way back into the game.

Comedy moment of the season
At last, i really did think that i would not have an entry in this years season summation for most brilliant comedy moment. The support has come through though - At the end of the game with victory assured a fantastic opportunity to praise to the highest on high the great god GIRUY the many of the Hearts support took it upon themselves to remain in Easter Road for the sole purpose of spoiling their League Cup parade. A full 45 minutes after the end of the game had passed before the last of the merry band were removed from Easter Road. By then the cup celebrations had been rendered at best completely impotent and at worst shown up as pathetic.

Jambos we take our hats off to you and bear our arses to GIRUY.


Next up Kilmarnock at Tynecastle on Saturday

HOOOO ON THE JAMBOS

Fight Club

Just a quick note to capture the win for Scotland against Georgia, yesterday.
Bloody marvelous!
I did not catch all of the game, best not to ponder too much on the why's and whatnots about that ( i was in HomeBase at Hermiston Gate looking at bathroom tiles ) Told you not to ponder!
Heard the first exhilarating ten minutes on the radio, just enough time to catch Boyd's goal, sounded like a cracker at the time and by the time i got round to seeing it, it still was.
Then i was stuck in HomeBase hell for the remainder of the first half.
My reward was to be chaffeured up to the Riccarton Arms in Currie to watch the second half.
On the way i listened to the overtly depressed, half time post mortem of Scotland's failings in the first half !! By then Arveladze had equalised for Georgia ( a fine goal itself if helped a little by some confused defending and basic auld man-ness on our right flank.
Struck me though that the rest of the first half must have been a bit of a mare judging by the tearing to bits the panel on Radio Scotland ( Gordon Smith and Willie Miller ( if i remember right )) were giving the team.
I was a tad nervous then about the second half as we drew into the car park of the pub.

The Riccarton Arms has the advantage over the standard local ( Railway in Juniper Green ) for football matches in that they let you bring your kids along. So when you have nowhere to bung them and lets face it these days you can't just tie them to the lamppost outside the pub whilst you spend the afternoon getting hammered, like you used to be able to do, at least not in Currie any roads! The Riccarton Arms lets you take them in with you.
Got the beer and colas just in time for the second half to kick off.
Now for me i did not think we were too bad, in fact i thought under the circumstances of injuries and suspensions ( McFadden, Fletcher, Pressley etc ) i thought we were pretty good.

Thought about how different the world looked from a Jambo perspective - this time last year - The spine of the Hearts team was also the spine of the Scotland team and we were in danger of strengthening that position into a bit of a monopoly. How very different things were now with Craig Gordon the only Jambo on the park.
The way things are going by the next time we play Georgia they could be fielding more Jambos than Scotland !!

I was interested to see Gogita Gogua come on for Georgia as Hearts had tried to sign him in the January transfer window - red tape being the catalyst for another round of SFA conspiracy theories amongst those who have watched too many episodes of the x-files ( me too )
He did not do much, if anything at all, though so couldn't come to any opinion either way round.

For me Scotland were undoubtedly the better team, Georgia had a couple of chances but Scotland played the more aggressive positive game and without being anything like the 16th best team in the world we did manage to create a chance or two ourselves. The best came from a cracking cross from the left by Naysmith right onto the big toe of Boyd, he should have buried it but he tried to leather it in and missed completely. Boyd was also unfortunate a few minutes earlier when he took an awkward chance to score really well, only to see it come back of the bar.
As the game moved into it's final stages i was struck with that spirit sapping feeling that we were not going to score, Boyd's back post thrash was the chance to win the game i thought.
I mentally went over the pros and cons of a draw rather than a win in terms of what that meant to Scotlands chances of qualifying - bonkers is it not! have i forgotten the football goliaths we have in our group, what chance do we have of qualification regardless of this result.
Beattie came on for Boyd and Scott Brown came on for Teale, Brown brought his energy into the midfield which lifted things a little and Beattie did his usual mostly ineffectual bustling up front.
With only minutes left and the game stumbling towards it's level end, Hartley found 2 yards to cross to Miller who headed back across the box for Beattie to collect on his chest and somehow sclaff the ball goalward, the keeper got to it but not enough to keep it out.

Scotland 2
Georgia 1

I have been in the Riccarton Arms to watch only one game before yesterdays.
Scotland 1
France 0
The pub is now my local for football games.
I stood in the same spot in the pub for both games, directly under one off their low slung oak beams. As the goal went in i ( as you do ) raised my hand in clenched fist delight and slammed my fist into the oak beam. Bust my knuckles wide open - looked like i had been in a scene of Fight Club. Done exactly the same when we scored against France as well - eejit.

JambosForever

Folks, the blog has merged and grown, Mr_JT has worked hard over the past months to come up with the rest of the site JambosForever.net which this blog now forms part


Lots of stuff there including club history and a forum for fans discussion etc

Check it out

The Mirror

"Some day your gonna have to face, the deep dark truthful mirror"

Elvis Costello - deep dark truthful mirror

An awful lot of people who had successfully been avoiding the inevitable view into the abyss had no choice yesterday. For most of us inside the stadium during that second half we looked long and and we looked hard into that mirror and not one of us liked what we saw.

We were a shambolic shadow of Heart of Midlothian Football Club a team in disarray and with nowhere to hide, a team imploding in on itself on and off the pitch.

Over the past year or so a number of supporters of other clubs have expressed their opinion, their consternation, at the lack dissenting voices coming from the terraces of our beloved football ground, as (from their perspective) Romanov rips the heart and soul out of our club.

"This would never happen at Ibrox ya bunch of spineless morons"

some blue nosed eejit

Well to that statement, i can reply now that the world is changing, there was a tectonic shelf shift at Tynecastle yesterday - the terrace was not placid and the dissenting voices were loud and very, very angry.

A seminal point for our club where now the numbers of non believers in the grass roots support is very close to critical mass. If the performance of the team does not improve and quickly things are about to get very ugly.

Talked to a Dundee Utd supporter on Friday, asked if he was going to the game, how he thought his team would get on etc. He replied that he would not be going because Levein has turned them into the most boring team in living memory. He was p'd off that some of their supporters are actually happy about this simply because they don't get horsed anything like as much as they used to. I can see his point but i can also see the others who are fed up of years and years of hounding's by us and just about everyone else in the league. He expected a tough, boring game that was just as likely to be 0 - 0 as anything else. Have to say i pretty much agreed with his prediction. The loss of Larry Kingston being the most important detractor to a victory for the good guys. Without Larry i just couldn't see where any of the football was going to come from. I was slightly encouraged then when it became clear that Bruno Aguair would be replacing him in central midfield. Only slightly encouraged mind you since he could hardly be match fit as he has been out for a good couple of months now and in any case he needs some mettle around him. That mettle was hardly going to come from Soli Mikoliunas, Andy Driver or the completely pointless Philibaitus!

So i fully expected a dull drawn out game that we might just squeeze a goal out of if we are lucky.

Time to look into that mirror folks, the deep dark one.

When was the last time you can remember when we did not play out a dull drawn out game where if we did squeeze out a victory it was not of the grudgingly annoying kind.

The mirror does not lie, we are rotten and have been all season.

There was a bloke phoned into James Trainor last night, an aged statesmanlike Hearts supporter who talked intelligently and lucidly about the reasons why he can no longer go along to Tynecastle to watch the team he has supported for the last 60 years. There was no malice, or vented rage or screaming spleen from this man, just a well constructed, insightful and undeniably logical argument laid forward to the listening public.

I will not go into the details of the argument other than it centred around the vanity of Vladimir Romanov as the central cause of the clubs ailments.

It was truly harrowing to hear this man talk.

The game ( or the first 70- minutes of it anyway )

Ok so the first part of this blog reads like a death march. You know what tho that game could have gone either way. There are only two problems to be dealt with - the first being the reason why the dug out did not change the shape of the team after Ibrahim Tall had been ordered off, until it was far too late? That is a question that we all need an answer to.

The second problem is the nature of the teams shambolic collapse under the weight of going behind. That is the mirrors reflection that we all see today if we are brave enough to recap that game in our heads.

The first half was off the now mechanically reconstituted standard boring crap we are forced to sit through week in week out. Very little of note in a positive sense from Hearts and the usual one or two defensive lapses that we just got away with. I was annoyed almost immediately by the referee and had decided inside of 5 minutes that he was intent on ruining any chance this game had of flowing anywhere. This annoyance, the ref eclipsed though, midway through the first half when he ordered off Ibrahim Tall for Hearts and Robertson for Utd. Handbags at dawn and no way a straight red card for both players - the ref lost the plot and made a mockery of the game. Hearts allowed this to affect them far more than it affected Dundee Utd however, basic tactical screw up on our part. The sendings off turned Dundee Utd's 4-5-1 into a 4-4-1 but Hearts allowed our shape to remain at 3-4-2 and worse we did not shift the back 3 around we just left a gaping hole down our right side?? Amazing really that it took Dundee Utd half an hour to exploit this fully.

HT

Hearts 0

Dundee Utd 0

Noticed at Half time that the concourse of Gorgie stand has been resurfaced with some non-slip, maroon coating. At least we won't slip in the rush to get out of this place i thought.

I mentioned to my dad that it would be just like the thing for these guys to score against us, that goal came in the 51st minute but my dad did not see it, he had already had enough and made for the exits.

Like i said this game could have gone either way, The goal came from a breakaway after a corner to Hearts, which concluded a period of some pressure we had exerted. They broke away though and used the vast open space that Tall had been marshaling, to advance into the box. A pass to the back post and a low drive into the net.

I don't think the Dundee Utd supporters could quite believe they had scored, it was a sleepy response from them.

Hearts immediately entered panic mode.

Jankauskas had come on at half time for Velicka who looks more like a first division player every time he plays - what happens with these guys? he seemed like a 15 goal a season player when he first got here. Jankauskas took this as his cue to start throwing himself around every time a defender came near him. More than anyone this guy for me represents the problems we have. He obviously has ( had ) talent, but he just can't be arsed he is here for a wage and nothing else. An overpaid prema-donna who is sucking the life out of our club, he has absolutely got to go in the summer!

Miko and Driver at least upped their game and made more direct runs into and around the box, one run saw Driver cut the ball back to Aguair on the edge of the box, he drove hard but the ball was always rising and missed over by a foot or two. If that had gone in, Hearts would have won the game!

Not to be within seconds a long ball forward by Utd saw their forward heading goal ward with only Goncalves in front of him. I swear i have never seen anything like it in all my born days but Goncalves actually managed to move away from the ball? he created more space for the Utd forward to move into? The gaping hole on the right was still there of course, now filled only by Utd's Robson, the pass to him was far to easy, he took it and slotted the ball home.

Now brilliantly awake the Dundee Utd support responded with much more gusto, now in belief that they were going to win against Hearts for the first time in donkeys years.

I just about got up and walked out right there and then.

Hearts entered double super panic mode.

One highlight and the only thing left for the support to cheer about was the introduction of youngster Glen who came on for Pospisil. Pospisil unlike Jankauskas has obviously no talent, he is and always has been simply an impostor who should not be allowed to wear the Hearts jersey again. He absolutely must go in the summer!

Pospisil was booed roundly as he walked off the pitch, his response was to sarcastically applaud the crowd. He has never really made it here, never become one of our favourites, for me that is the last straw for him, just get tae, that's all i can say to that.

The introduction of this 16 year old into the cataclysm of this match seemed out of order to me, what the hell were we expecting him to do about this and just what were we expecting him to learn - Look son, just so you know, this is what a team in self destruct mode looks like?

The 3rd goal was another slice through the Hearts defence with us on the back foot and all mis-shapen, i got of my seat and was heading for the exit before the ball hit the back of the net.

I did not therefore see the 4th goal but i will eat my hat if it wasn't just like the rest.

As i walked down from my seat there was a bloke who had climbed over and onto the pitch, he was screaming abuse at the Hearts dug out. He had his young kid on the pitch with him, the wee guy could only have been 5 or 6. He was screaming, very upset, trying desperately to haul is enraged father off the pitch. It was a shameful sight, i hope he regrets his actions today, he will no doubt get plenty of time to regret them because he threw his season ticket book onto the pitch as he finally left.

We go down to Easter Road in a couple of weeks. They will now be buoyant after their well deserved League Cup win today. If we have not got our act together by then ( somehow ) we could be on for a desperate afternoon that could blow our EUFA hopes completely out of the water.

So if not for anything other than a desperate plea to the sporting gods

HOOOOO ON THE JAMBOS

Just love football

After yesterdays riotous shambles at Tynecastle, i was in no mood whatsoever to go watch another game of football, especially given that winter had returned to Edinburgh with a vengeance.
Got to go watch the youngest play for Currie Star though and i am glad i did! A cracking game in the chill at Kingsknowe early this morning.
There were snow flurries and a strong north westerly for the youngsters to deal with and i will say now - each and every one of those boys playing in the cold this morning had more spirit and determination and love for the game than any one of those, for want of a better term 'bloody imposters' that pulled on a Hearts shirt yesterday.

Currie Star had the wind advantage in the first half and just like last week i was concerned and sure we would need a 2 goal lead to take into the second half. The lads used the wind in their favour to the full, pressing Beachwood hard back into their own half. The visitors were limited to breakaways, however those breaks carried a threat with their forward players running strongly with the ball. The ganme was poised for an engrossing affair.
First and second blood came to Currie Star, the first being a particularly well worked and finished goal - 4 or 5 passes moving up the park a slip inside and beautiful lob over the keeper - these lads are ten years old folks. It makes your heart sing to see it come together.
One of the Beachwood breaks came off and they brought the deficit back to one before Currie Star extended again just before half time.

HT
Currie Star 3
Beachwood 1

So the required 2 goal advantage was there ( just ), the game was very much there for the taking though so it was great to see Currie Star belie the tougher task ahead of them in the second half by stretching their lead to 4 - 1 early after the restart.
A period of give and take between the two teams then for the next 10 or 15 minutes where the game could have been killed off or brought right back to life concluded with Currie Star leading 5 - 2.
A victory looked assured and my spirit was renewed in love of the beautiful game.
To their credit Beachwood never gave up and brought the game back to 5 - 4 and just ran out of time to get the equaliser.

Great game today and a great win for Currie Star.

At the dentist

Hearts made great strides forward this weekend in securing their route into European football next season.
The InterTattie cup it is then.

Results went against Hearts with a defeat to Aberdeen, our likely rivals for 3rd and the Eufa cup spot for real. Rangers pulled of a great win ( for them ) defeating the other half of the ugly sisterhood at Parkhead.
All roads to Europe that Hearts have attempted to navigate this year have had diversion signs put up, firmly blocking our path to some sort of measure of success for this season. Last time it was Dunfermline in the Scottish cup ( a result which caused the first mention of the embarrassing InterToto from Tynecastle ( mind you do i think Newcastle care about that right now, nope i don't! )) . Now it is Aberdeen firmly slamming the door in our faces with a vital win for them.
This leaves Hearts 3 points behind Aberdeen ( they have a game in hand against Motherwell at Fir Park on Tuesday ) and 7 now behind Rangers ( they also have a game in hand ).

So most likely outcome for the end of the season now is -
Rangers keep 2nd and champions league qualification is theirs
Aberdeen keep 3rd and take the Eufa cup spot from their league position
Unfortunate for them but i suspect Hibs get beat in the cup final to Celtic and get their Eufa cup spot because Celtic have obviously won the league ( although by then it may have been so long that they might have forgotten all about it ).

Plenty of time to catch Aberdeen actually so should not be too disheartened but just now it seems like.
Last year was like being at the fair, going for a ride on the fastest, scariest roller coaster without being strapped in, and your naked!
This year is like being at the dentist, going for root canal work by Steve Martin and he took the drugs, and your naked!

Hearts turned up with Philibaitis ( isn't that some kind of skin complaint ) and Iveskivicius in the makeshift midfield - neither of these guys look up to the job. They appear to be part of the vast array of mediocrity that sits just under the surface of the Hearts squad and serves only to inflate the squad numbers. Here is a question though, we do have injuries this is true but these guys have surfaced along with Korobochka's reign in the boiling hot seat that is head coach at Tynecastle.
I think this is an indication that Vlad does not control the team selection as much as some of us think he does - these guys are Korobochka's choice not Vlads or Valdas's either way round they are the wrong choice.
Actually Hearts didn't really turn up at all.
Aberdeen got of to a good start with a well struck goal early in the game and seemed comfortable from that point on. Not that they really looked as though they had any more goals themselves but it was all too easy for them.
Notable however was Larry Kingston, he came to Tynecastle with a reputation for two things - He was a decent player and he had a reputation. A reputation for poor discipline, he has received a couple of six match bans in his time for losing the plot. From the minute Hearts went behind it seemed that every tackle he made was a foul, it was innevitable that he would get booked. With 20-20 hindsight you would say he should have been hooked after his booking but such is the dearth of playmaking capability in the Hearts team just now i guess we couldn't afford to take him off. Whatever he carried on just as before with his 1 to 1 ratio of tackle to foul and was sent off after the hour. Not to be curtailed by trivial matters like being red carded Larry went for the double red by accusing the referee of being a racist!
So in my excitement surrounding Larry, last week i stated the only problem i could see with Larry at tynecastle was if he got fed up with all the nonsense surrounding the place. Completely forgot about the fact that he might just be a head case.
We have had our problems bringing players into Tynecastle for the last 2 transfer windows, i have suspected that it has had a lot to do with how stressful and precarious it must look from the outside world to come to Hearts. Thats why we end up with so many Lithuanians on loan these guys are the fall back for failed attempts to bring in the guys we want. Or is there a policy that you have to be a certified nutter with paranoid tendancies before you get a gig with us.

It became apparent this week also that Valdas has not been sent to the salt mines afterall, he has in fact been so fantastic at his job as head scape goat that he has been promoted to Director of Football Bureaucracy in the Romanov Politburo. This all makes perfect sense? it is like watching some nineteenth century, moustache twirling illusionist at his mercurial best. It's all just smoke and mirrors folks.

Fine fair

Blustery and rainy start to Currie Star's latest outing at Kingsknowe this week, it felt like winter folks!
Warmed up nicely and quickly though as the game burst into action from the off. The game then succeeded in serving up highly enjoyable fair to the faithfull dozen or so souls who braved the weather.
Currie Star started positively using the wind at their backs to full advantage, hemming East Craigs into their own half for much of the opening period.
The goal for Currie was on the cards and came after 15 minutes, a welcome goal indeed but it could have been 3 or 4 at that point and i was worried. We needed to be 2 up at half time to stand a chance given the strength of the wind in our favour.
East Craigs found a gear and some space though and started to cause a few problems for the Star defence. They turned their efforts into 2 goals in quick succession to go into the break with a 2 - 1 advantage.
With the wind at their backs and confidence in their sails East Craigs kicked on quickly in the second half and forced their way into a 4 - 1 lead within 5 minutes of the restart. A real shame for the Currie Star lads as they had played well in a keenly contested and evenly fought match.
To their credit Currie Star did not fold under the weight of the defecit and played out the remainder of the game with creditable spirit. The lads were rewarded with a second goal with the last kick of the game.

A defeat to East Craigs but a great effort from the boys nonetheless.

I have been hunting around looking for the club crest on the net, found this during my ( as yet in vain ) efforts.
Looks well worth promoting

http://www.unitetheclubs.co.uk/Supporters/Clubs.htm

All we need is strobe lighting

Seemed like ages since Hearts last played, the interim period being littered as usual with more of the same disruption. Valdas has again departed, for? how long this time? who knows.
Initial speculation for his replacement came in the form of some complete nobody called Letiso? Have to say that petrified me. I have been working on this theory for a good few weeks now, that Hearts will be a better team team next year than we are this year.

"Whit!" is the response i have been getting from the non Jambo punters at work, to this unfounded proclamation "Where the hell do you get that from?". In truth my theory is quite flimsy, based almost completely on two ideas -

1. This season has been pretty dire really so can't get much worse.
2. The turmoil at least in part has been connected with now departed / departing old guard. So regardless of on the park merits of any of these guys the fact that they are no longer here means there can be no more disruption between them and the Vlad. In short those that are left are Vlads boys, if not they are gone.

This guy though, can't even remember if that is his name, seemed so bad, so lacking in any kind of pedigree that i was convinced he would be a disaster to eclipse Malofeev. Coaching league teams in the Faroes for gods sake, get beat 15 - 0, 2 months in charge of Lithuania, it all sounded like Staneyburn Juniors to me and my theory was shot.

So although we are still in disarray, having one of our backroom guys instead seems much the lesser of two evils, Korabochka gets the job for a few weeks, until - he makes an arse of it a Valdas comes back in for the rest of the season.

Another rant :-

I have had it reading the comments section on the Scotsman online, have you ever tried it? There is a core of about 20 individuals who regular as the day is long comment on the articles presented by the paper. Its mental, i am mental for reading them but to be honest they are much more informative and entertaining than the articles themselves. Anyroads there are a bunch of Hibees who are so bereft of anything to read associated with their own team that they feel compelled to read articles about Hearts and then comment about it, obviously in the negative. This rant is dedicated to those sad little individuals.

Right now and for the record i am going to dispel the myth, all the speculation that has surrounded the club shall be laid to rest. All the lies, half truths and exaggerations i am going to cast in stony grey granite fact. The most outrageous of outlandish claims to emanate from the Scottish sporting media concerning the team it's past, present and future merits, i will bring back to earth. I will staple them to the deck with a huge great restraining bolt to keep them down here so we can all see the reality of the situation safe from floating around in a fantastic, nightmarish dream. The spectrum of opinion shall be aggregated and integrated so that we can know the truth because that's what counts and here it is -

Hibs are NOT the flair team!

They just aren't and they are not the custodians of the beautiful game in Scotland, neither are they particularly young or particularly Scottish. Right now they are a bit crap actually, about the only thing they have a flair for is playing crap keepers.

Rant over.

Those of you who have read much of this blog will know that my relationship with Hibs is maybe not the norm for a Jambo, normally i prefer to see them win against the gruesome twosome for instance and i genuinely support them on the odd occasion when they play in Europe. By way of confession then i have to say i wanted Rangers to win against Hibs at the weekend, right now i wish i had had the confidence to think they other way round. Basically i feared Hibs catching Hearts more than i felt confident that Hearts could catch Rangers and steal 2nd place.

You are right i should be flogged for that treason.

The game

Away to Motherwell, last time Hearts were there we were at a low ebb and really really needed the confidence of a win, we managed it and it helped us to stumble along for another few weeks. We needed the same again, this time though to keep the pressure on Aberdeen and a distant Rangers and to put distance between ourselves and the above not so wondrous green Brazil.

There are times when you watch football that all you see is activity in front of you, no focus or direction or even apparent aim, just activity lots of it. To be honest most of the pointless activity was coming from Motherwell. But then just every now and then something clicks, a fleeting touch of quality, the opportunity arises and is dispatched. Exhilarating for a split second and then we are back in our seats and back to the whirling jig.

It's like this movie here, taken at Chambers St museum at the weekend, you have no idea what this is, it is all just whirling activity until all of a sudden the strobe light is switched on and it all makes sense, for a bit.

The person with his finger on the strobe switch was once again Larry Kingston, fast becoming the main man for the Jambos.
His near post corner midway through the first half was met by Tall for the opening goal. This was eclipsed by his effort in the second half to finish the game. Somehow he found himself on the right wing, scampered down to the byeline and crossed a peach to the front post where Elliott was screaming in. The header came from the defender but such was the cross and the pressure from Elliott the ball crashed into the net.
Could have been very different, earlier in the first half, Motherwell could have taken the lead when their striker was straight through on goal, he chose (wrongly) to try to round Gordon but under pressure overran the byeline.
Other than that this game was completely forgettable. To sum it up Hearts did to Motherwell what others have been doing to Hearts all season at Tynecastle, mugged!

Much more interesting is where this leaves things.
8 points ahead of Hibs, open water really.
Level on points with Aberdeen who we play at Pittodrie at the weekend
Rangers away to Celtic the same weekend

With maximum points from a Hearts perspective and spring in the air the chase for 2nd place could be well and truly on by Sunday afternoon.

HOOOO ON THE JAMBOS

ooo-be-doo

No game to report on this week, as Hearts were dumped out of the Scottish Cup by Dunfermline a few weeks back.
The only thing to talk about this week then is vlad's continuing rant ravaged war with the Scottish sporting media.
Vlad posted another certifiably insane haver on the Hearts official website on Thursday.
This time round i am actually getting a bit worried for his sanity, i mean really i am.

Here is the transcript from the Hearts website :-

Haver

It is futile to attempt to pick some sense out of this wondrous tirade of complexities, red herrings and trawler following seagulls.
References to Mowgli here, from The Jungle Book?
It is confused ofcourse but is Mowgli the Scottish public who Vlad seems to think are childlike in some way! requiring of some teaching. I think i am a bit insulted by this.
I guess it is common for the clinically bonkers to harbour a superiority complex. Some of this reads as if it were the thoughts of Chairman Moa TseTung, to be gratefully consumed on a daily basis by the mass proletariat at the start of each glorious working day. From the wests perspective it did appear as though the old communist block treated it's people as children to be taught and controlled as such. Is this what he thinks of us lowly punters? Are you insulted by this?
Back to Mowgli, King of the Swingers thats what i read out of this, that song from The Jungle Book, here it is here ...




Mowgli here represents the Scottish football watching public ( children ), and the Orangutang here is the Media or perhaps the Old Firm, confusing and corrupting poor Mowgli in order to acheive some self serving agenda. Obvious flaws in all of this - Orangutangs are apes not monkeys for a kick off but hey in the land of the stark raving space cadets we can let that one slide.
Who then is Vlad, is he Baloo? the noble bear ( obvious Russian connections there ) coming to Mowgli's rescue. Or is he the black panther here, who knows. May be that Baloo is Steven Pressley who in this scene is caste under the spell of the mischevious Ape and his devil music, the Jazz.
My head hurts.


I thought of hunting through You Tube for a clip to represent "the woman who gives herself without love" but hey this is a family blog!

On the upside it looks like Tom Pontin's crusade against the deal which will allow Hearts to purchase the necessary land to build the new stand has failed. Obviously we are all delighted about that. This stupid, pathetic, narrow minded, short sighted little man and his crusade for notoriety should be ignored as soon as possible.

In the land of the blind, Larry is King

This week served up another predictable tragi-drama from Romanov's big top circus, opera house and pantomime pantaloons.
This week i am sick of it, can't take much more.
Everything about it is just waring me down.
This culminated in my experience at Tynecastle yesterday - this game was the most annoying & frustrating, badly scripted, amateurishly directed and poorly acted dross i have witnessed all season - it probably wasn't but that's how it felt, i was in a stinking mood by the time the game was over.
I spent a load of the game venting vitriol at variety of victims, my language and general demeanor not for me to be proud off. Why do we do it to ourselves!

Breath in ... and rest.

Vladimir Romanov has once again plunged himself and the club into disarray and ignominy with his paranoid ravings, which appear to this time be full on - libellous. Essentially Vlad has stated in an interview to Russian sports magazine Futbal that the old firm are in some way corrupting Scottish Football, players and referees.
Here is a bit of the translated transcript -

Q. When you took over you declared that Hearts would in a few months be mounting a real challenge to Rangers and Celtic and would be battling for the title. Nobody took you seriously then but you soon returned the club to long forgotten heights. What was the secret of your success?

A. Celtic and Rangers? Even Kaunas are a match for them on the pitch. The thing is they've turned football into a type of show business with their underhand games. They buy off players and referees. When it comes to weaker teams then nobody can help but if two opponents are equally matched, then the referees can have a real influence on the outcome.

Seems pretty conclusive to me, if this is a legitimate translation ( Vlad in an official statement on Hearts web site has back tracked from this) Vlad has accused both Rangers and Celtic of 'buying off' referees.
Given what has gone on in Italy at the end of last season, what it has cost some of the clubs over there. This must be dealt with seriously, will it? i don't think so. Half of me wants one or both of the gruesome twosome to take it as far as they can, drive a legal stake into the heart of Vlad and his death grip on our club. The other half is petrified that the 'camel that breaks the straws back' may well be that long drawn out and acrimonious legal battle. Vlad gives up and walks away.
There are some other statements from the interview that do read like an exit strategy is being sought -


Q. Things have got that bad in Britain?

A. That's not the word for it. I went there with the hope that I'd be able to avoid all the dirty stuff that we've all grown used to here. I thought that there everything was clean, ideal, (that I would be dealing) with gentlemen. But it turned out that there everything is even worse.

Q. Worse than here?

A. Yes, by some way.

Q. In what way is that visible?

A. They have a different mentality. A different culture, or to be more precise, lack of culture. What do I mean by that? Here, for example, I can say to German (Tkachenko, the Russian football magnate who runs the agency that represents players such as Laryea Kingston and who was sitting next to him during the interview): 'Why are you trying to deceive me?' (German Tkachenko interjects: 'And I would feel ashamed'.) A And he would feel ashamed. But if I say that to a British person, they give you an innocent look and say, 'Me? Deceive you? I'll see you in court!' That's the difference.What we would call base behaviour is the norm for them. It's normal for them to betray one's own club and conduct talks with another club behind their back or not to give their team everything on the pitch because someone has seduced them by waving the shirt of another club at them.But fans there deserve something much more. They are not like the tiffosi in Italy. British supporters are well-versed, they understand everything, they live for football. But they are being served up a rotten product, even if it is well packaged.

A couple of thoughts here, Vlad has always had it in for untrustworthy agents, a lot of his actions and over-reactions over his time here has i believe been caused by players and agents not playing the game Vlad's way. It is pretty clear that Vlad also feels the same way about players who also do not play the game exactly as he sees it. Any decent is taken as a betrayal, a personal betrayal to be dealt with, with utmost severity.
Pretty clear that it is Vlad's way or it is the highway.
Vlad came here because he wanted an even playing field where everyone adhered to his view of how football business should be conducted. He can't get that in Russia/Lithuania which is why he came here, now he seems convinced that it is worse here?? Where else can he go, how about South America bet it is nice and clean and tidy over there. I am not so sure that this is an indication of the exit strategy being sought. But i do think the exit may seek him out much quicker than he expects. All i will say about Vlad and his apparent madness is that, behind all of this is a long term goal. That goal being to get a foothold over here for his bank UKIO-BANKAS, and to expand that business. This dwarfs any ripple caused by his ownership of this football club. He owns this club in order to grease the wheels toward that goal. Vlad has and is however making so many mistakes that that goal is looking further away by the hour. Right this moment in time how many people do you think would open an account at the George St branch of UKIO-BANKAS A failed bank venture would surely see him go as cold as ice to Hearts, Edinburgh and Scotland. For an awful lot of people that would be good riddance and bugger the consequences.

One of the most disappointing aspects of all of this is the divisions it is building into the Hearts support. The talk shows and web sites are crammed full of anti Vlad versus pro Vlad battles, everyone is entitled to their opinion obviously but lately it reminds me of that scene in 'Life of Brian' where Brian thinks that he and the rest of The Peoples Popular Front of Judia are about to strike a blow against the oppressive Romans only to discover that they are happier to battle it out with their mortal enemy The Judian Popular Peoples Front.
Seems to me that some people spend their entire lives in perpetual disgust at their clubs chairman and board, like it is their job or something. I just can't be arsed with that.

Where do i stand on all of this?

I hate the term 'Romanov apologist', mostly bandied around by the above malcontents.
I do not apologise for Romanov, he has made a hundred thousand mistakes in the last 2 years. He is most probably President of the United Wards of BonkersVille!
But here is what i believe right now, having sumpt up all the lines which are to to be read between, over the piece -

I believe, the new stand and the building of it remains the acid test of his intentions for our club.
I believe, Hearts will be a better team next season than we are this season.

Is anything else required really, think i have nailed my colours to the mast there. I remain a supporter of the Romanov revolution, with all the baggage that entails. However failure of either of those statements for me will be the tipping point from support to rejection.

It all started so well as well. An absolutely beautiful day in Edinburgh for the visit of St Mirren. We are all no doubt aware of the all too obvious effects ( beneficial? ) of global warming. As i sat awaiting the kick off i was struck with the idea that the day felt like April in every way but the aroma of spring bloom. I was a bit surprised that the Hearts support were in much finer fettle than last week, galvanised once again by the knowledge that we are the most hated and ridiculed team in the history of evil and stupid teams. A snappy rendition of The Monkeys self titled anthem set and lightened the scene.
The first seeds of disgruntlement in my gut was as the team was announced, we were playing Neil McCann in the middle with Laryea Kingston. That pairing against St Mirren just wouldn't cut it for me. They are a nasty team who play the game on the edge of a foul, Larry needed more than just Nelly in there with him especially given they would no doubt play 5 across the middle. Why not Brellier in there protecting Larry and the back 4.

Another rant - St Mirren drive me nuts, i hate playing against them, is it just me? They have honed to a fine art the ability to nudge their mark just a tiny bit just a split second before the aerial challenge, just enough to make the edge but not enough for a foul. They are experts at it, all of them, the whole game yesterday. Drove me to distraction.

Another rant - During this game the referee MacDonald seemed to experiment with a new interpretation of the rules. That rule which states that obstruction is a foul unless you are the defender and you are attempting to shepherd the ball over your own byeline. For the whole game he modified this rule so that it became obstruction is a foul unless you are the defender and you are attempting to shepherd the ball over your own bye line OR you are a Hearts player!
Drove me to distraction.

Another rant - If that little bugger McCann fann*es about with the ball again when he is last man 20 yards out with nobody near him other than the opposing forward bearing down on him, i swear i will walk on the park and hoof the ball up field myself. Anyone who was at the game will know what i mean.
Drove me absolutely mental.

Hearts started the game pretty well, the crowd were happy and expecting, Larry played some good passes over the top out to Driver on the left wing, driver making good progress and getting the crosses in. Best effort in the early stages was a 30 yard raking volley hit perfectly by Velicka, the keeper doing really well to tip over.
The StMirren goal then came against the run of play then? For the most part, however a couple of moments before it came a very similar opening appeared for them. Worryingly a clipped ball onto the penalty spot from deep allowed their forward in on goal with not a centre half in sight. I had been growing in my confidence of the Berra/Zaliukas partnership but that was a shocker. He took it really well tho so can't take anything away from him.
That was it, even if we are not the most hated and ridiculed team in the history of evil and stupid teams, we are about the most frail.
Hearts spent the rest of the game chasing their tails with no leadership, or coherence.
Grudging respect to St Mirren i guess, their game plan paid off and they stuck to their task well, competed for everything blah, blah.

It is just as well we have uncovered a potential gem in Larry Kingston ( this goes part of the way to my belief that we will be a better team next season, another couple of players of his ilk and things could start to cook once again ).
Some media pundit mentioned in today's press that whilst Larry had a decent game he was in no way a replacement for Paul Hartley, that pundit has not been to Tynecastle much in the first half of this season! I dare say Hartley will get a new lease of life now that he is at his beloved Celtic.
Hearts goal came from a dubious free kick ( i don't believe the corruption or bias jibe i just think the ref is an idiot ) 20 yards out on the right side of the box. Expertly lofted over the wall and into the far corner. Thank Christ for that.

Vlad responded to the trouble he had gotten himself in, by releasing a statement on the club website. In the statement he stated that 'thank God he had not come across any conspiracies' in this country - an open reversal of his reported statements to the Russian mag.

Just couldn't help himself though, if there is one thing Vlad hates more than dodgy agents and mutinous players it is the media. Here is how Vlad visualises the Scottish media..

Rip Ding WOOOO

Breaking all the rules

It was a troubled week for Hearts on the run up to the game against Inverness Caledonian Thistle. This was mostly down to the statement regarding the debt that the club now finds itself in - a monstrous figure of £28.4M huge scary number i am sure you will agree.
The general feeling of depression was not helped by the dismal exit from the Scottish Cup to Dunfermline last weekend.

I am no financial guru and that's a fact, all i can see at the moment is that the people who own the club are the people who are paying the interest on the debt to the people who own the club - so right now Vladimir Romanov is taking money out of one pocket and putting it in the other and in doing so some numbers are moved around on various company accounts - HMFC & UKIO Bankas
The only beneficiaries would seem to be the players in our vastly over inflated first team squad, who are picking up their weekly thousands whilst getting no where near the first team. Surely Hearts will have a drastic cull at the end of this season?
That is at present to the detriment of HMFC a detriment that will have a cataclysmic effect when and only when

1. Romanov ceases to be Sugar Daddy (gets bored or decides he can't do it with provincial Hearts and moves for a bigger club at which point Hearts become Kaunas #2 ) or


2. HMFC finances become so outrageous that it puts UKIO Bankas in danger and Vlad gets toppled from his position there, or


3. Romanov empire collapses due to any myriad of financial dodgy dealings ( stress here that none are known this is pure speculation ) Romanov is jailed.


4. Some bigger bank simply buys UKIO Bankas, the tap is switched off and the debt called in.

At this moment as has been at all moments in the last couple of years the outcome for HMFC is as clear as tar. Most likely for me is number 4 here, given that big banks buy small banks all the time. We all know that the Romanov era will end at some point, sooner or later. The evidence ( announced debt ) and media comment from this week all indicate, suggest and warn that the Romanov era will end at best with HMFC in a worse position than when he took over and at worst mortally wounded.

The only comment i have on that is - Heart of Midlothian Football Club were mortally wounded when he ( Romanov ) took the reigns it would be almost impossible for him to leave us in a worse state. Going bankrupt £20M in debt is as far as i can see is no different from going bankrupt £100M in debt. Like i say i am no financial mind so comments on that statement are more than welcome. All would be lost under either scenario.

Where would we be right now if he had not taken over, most likely scenario is ...

In administration, playing St Johnstone at Murrayfield in front of 4,000 die hard supporters.

Regardless of how crazy he is he is still very much our saviour, even if in 5 years the scenario above is exactly where we are.

The continuing Craig Gordon saga has also served to depress the Tynecastle faithful, our greatest on field asset and in many ways only remaining favourite son appears now to be banished from the team for good. He will be sold in the summer and if we see him in a Hearts jersey before then we will be surprised. It is just as well that Stevie Banks is a decent keeper or the depression would be bubbling in to the manic for a lot of us Jambos. Stevie Banks is a decent keeper, better than decent in fact and i have no concerns about him taking up the mantle as 1st choice #1 what bothers me is the waste of Craig Gordon for all concerned.

Hopefully the game at Tynecastle yesterday was the conclusion to our depression and not some marker on a continuing decent into the abyss. For many reasons it was certainly a marker, all Jambos online were were sent e-mails from the club informing them that there were tickets left ( so hurry up and pick them up ) for the game. This is the first time the club has had to do this since the start of the 2005 - 06 season and indeed the game was the first non home gate sell out since then. A clear indication of the faithfuls disgruntlement. The atmosphere was subdued and tetchy, not helped by the 300 or so ICT fans who themselves seemed bored and depressed. Their favourite jibe was the obvious twisting of the Hibs favourite .. "Vladimir Romanov, he s**ks Paul Hartley off" into "Vladimir Romanov, he f**ked Paul Hartley off".

The atmosphere on the run up to the kick off was further dishevelled ( correct me if i am wrong because i was not in a good position to be certain ) by the unveiling of the huge Hearts jersey that had previously been unfurled down the height of the Wheatfield Stand, this time directly over my head down the centre of the Gorgie Stand. We all became aware that the bloody thing was upside down!

To keep with the upside down theme then i will summarise the game before i get into the nitty gritty. So if you are already bored with this blog entry you can just read the next paragraph and be done with it -

My parting comment as we split to take our seats in the stand before kick off was "We better put in a performance or it is going to feel cold out there today" by the end of the game i was bloody freezing!

Banks was called into action early in the game, the first ICT attack in fact, a throw in from the right was flicked on and landed for Graham Bayne to knock goal ward, a little awkward to take and the effort was a tad weak but a good save from Banks nonetheless. Once again for all of Hearts mighty big squad, a couple of injuries and we struggled badly for cover - no Bruno Aguair or Salius Mikoliunas and Hearts had to re-invent Callum Elliot as a right midfielder and play with Julien Brellier and Laryea Kingston in the centre. Looked to me as though Kingston and Brellier are too similar and a combination of Kingston or Brellier with Aguair may be a better blend. Not too surprising then that the team had a makeshift feel to it however we seemed to play the ball on the deck more than we have done of late, not that that would be too difficult. Driver playing left midfield had the beating of the ICT defence every time until they realised the threat and started to double up on him. This is a good sign but one which we need to recognise and use to our advantage. If they need to double up on the flanks we should be able to move the ball around with a bit more freedom deeper infield looking for that telling pass, a bit of patience maybe required. Lets face it though Hearts are quite far away from a patient, probing outfit with excellent ball retention capabilities.

Arkadiusz Klimek started the game quite well, with a 25 yard shot always rising but a decent effort nonetheless and a neat back heel to put Jankauskas through on goal. As the game progressed however a decent start turned into a dismal conclusion. The Hearts support had decided fairly quickly that anything less than brilliant by any of the new players was to be vilified immediately. A bit unfair i thought bu Klimek did not help himself really, a good move playing him through from midfield early in the second half wasted by him with a ludicrous scoop to the back post when a cut back to Kingston screaming towards the penalty spot was a much better option. Lack of fitness may have crept in but from that point on Klimek struggled with the basics required to make any impact on the game.

Edgaras Jankauskas on the other hand started the game badly and just got worse, he seemed to be penalised every time the ball went near him, can't all have been victimisation. The neat back heel from Klimek was wasted by Jankauskas as he tried to fend of the defender ( fouling him in the process ) rather than just having a shot at goal. Jankauskas is looking more like a waste of space every time he trots on to the park and at a time when our finances are under a great deal of scrutiny he can be seen as nothing more than an unnecessary drain on the club.

Focus on Laryea ( Larry ) Kingston.

Bonkers hair cut.

On the whole i was pretty encouraged by his performance. He played some really good balls through to the front players both on the ground and over the top. He played the ball into the box early when he got the opportunity, this is something we have missed badly and something Miko should take note of. Larry looked as though he wanted a split second longer on the ball than he was being allowed, caught in possession a couple of times and forced into a pass he didn't want to do a couple of others. Just seemed like the fabled pace of the British game and something i am sure he will adapt to. Most telling really that when Larry got moved out to the right of midfield when Elliot ( out of position and having a 2nd half shocker ) was replaced by Eggert Johanson, the midfield lost a lot and crosses started coming in from the right. On the whole a good home debut. About the only thing i can see that can go wrong with Larry's Tynecastle career would be if our rotation policy just p*sses him off and he switches off.

ICT had forced a good few corners and they always looked quite dangerous although that seemed to be more down to our back four than their attack. No idea how Hearts have managed so many clean sheets of late but if it keeps up it is a statistic that will soon start to count big time. Banks also came to our rescue a couple of times especially in the fist half, this concluded in turning a ball round the post that deceptively swirled towards the bottom right corner.

Hearts were frustrated that they just couldn't get a stranglehold on the game and it seemed all to easy for ICT to break things up in midfield. Hearts then had to settle with playing well in elusive flashes throughout the first half and most of the second. However those flashes were pretty good when they came mostly coming from Driver and or Kingston or when Fyassas ventured forward. Our biggest problem was a completely ineffectual front two, this has been a problem all season and if you think about it last season as well ( remember the vast majority of Hearts goals came from midfield last year, that well has run dry ). For all our multitude of strikers we look toothless up there. Bednar came on for Jankauskas and looked a bit livelier, Kingston put him through but he just couldn't get enough behind it to beat the keeper. He then succeedded in twisting himself in knots on the left wing before dropping out of the game for good.

Michael Pospisil then came on for the by then dejected looking Klimek and with his first touch of the ball settled our nerves and the game. Driver on the left once again covered by 2 or 3 ICT players could not make for the byline so he cut inside and knocked a back post cross in with his right. Pospisil rose at the back post to head the ball back across the keeper and into the net for a text book finish. So that is how easy it is. A fairly grudging roar of relief from the crowd was as good as the goal received. The Hearts support remain unconvinced and nervous by the goings on of the last few weeks.

Another home game next week, another win and an improved performance, as spring is looms around the corner, is a must if HMFC and their supporters are to get the spring back in their step.

HOOOO ON THE JAMBOS